You Are Not From Houston, 10 Surefire Ways To Know
Foley's Was Where Again?
If you are a native Houstonian you have fond memories of the downtown department store Foley's from your childhood. Foley's stuck around through the early 2000s but the extreme affection that Houstonians have for the store is akin to some '40s Christmas Story nostalgia that may or may not be based on anything real.
Frito Pie? No Thanks!
There are many foods that Houstonians are connoisseurs of: Kolaches, Tex-Mex, Queso (which is melted cheese, BTW), Tres Leches Cake and Frito Pie. Frito Pie is one of those foods that is a "special" on Houston menus. "Oh, they have Frito Pie!" People not from the region may enjoy it or it may just make their stomachs turn. It's Fritos covered in ground beef and shitty melted cheese. What food category is it even? Is it an appetizer? A meal? A desert? It's an acquired taste, and let's just leave it at that.
Photo by Erika Ray And then sometimes you just throw an egg on that shit for no good reason
Is It a Coke You Want, Or a Soda? A Coke? No a Soda?
I have heard the word Coke used many times interchangeably with the word soda. You want a soda, but you call it a Coke, but you are talking about a Sprite. I don't know if this is a 100 percent Houstonian thing or not, but it is still something to marvel at and be rather confused when it happens to you.
Remember That Time We Did Special K At Numbers And Wound Up Getting Mugged By Those 14-Year Olds?
Houston natives, certainly those in the 30+ age range, have the most wondrous stories about the club Numbers. They all involve massive amounts of illegal drugs that are no longer in fashion and/or random muggings. What was this Numbers club like 20 years ago? You all make it sound like it was a scene right out of the movie The Last Days of Disco except there was no disco but rather goth and alt-rock bands playing. We non-natives have wandered into Numbers looking for insanity and all we've found is cheap beer and dirty bathrooms. Where is all the glitter you keep telling us everyone wears there?