Ten Houston Women You've Probably Dated
The Party Chick/Hot Mess
You met her at Warehouse Live, and it was the night of your life. She's the only woman you know who enjoys drinking more than you do, and she went home with you that very night. You thought you'd keep it casual, if you ever even contacted one another again, but it became a regular thing and mutated into a full-blown relationship before you could even get your bearings. Six months later, you're holding her hair back as she vomits into your toilet, while you stare at the clock, calculating how much sleep you can get if you fall asleep right now. This has become your life. And, of course, she's damaged, so good luck getting out of this one without a few emotional (and perhaps physical) scars.
The Independent Southern Belle
She has opinions, and by golly you're going to hear them! But you'll always pay for dinner and drinks, always open every door the two of you are entering and will always be expected to be the designated driver. So you'd better act like a man! One or the other would be fine, but this one likes to pick and choose whether she's a fair lady or a fiery, self-governing women whenever she sees fit. You can't keep up with the double standard, so just stop trying.
The Bandwagon Collegiate Faithful
She never attended school there. Hell, she's never even stepped foot onto the campus. None of her family has history there either but, like so many Pittsburgh Steelers fans (up until this season at least), she found a kinship with an institution that has a lot of history, even though she doesn't have any there. Every Saturday afternoon, she'll make you wear that Texas A&M, Texas, Oklahoma, LSU or Alabama T-shirt she bought you. Sure her alma mater is playing a game too, but she wouldn't be surrounded by a legion of fanatic graduates, so what's the point?
The Higher Than Thou
Everyone likes a lady in the streets who's a freak in the sheets, but things can get complicated when said lady/freak is an overzealous church-, temple- or mosque-going Goody Two-Shoes. Some of what you assume is a masquerade may be a bigger part of her personality than she originally lets on. Inevitably, you'll find yourself trying to keep a straight face as you argue with her about morality, religion and the afterlife... While naked. Are you really going to proselytize to me right after we did that?