Gwyneth Paltrow Needs a Personality Makeover
Thirdly, stop trying to be hip
I think somewhere a publicist of Paltrow's convinced her to play up her "keeping it real" appeal, which she has none of. Paltrow likes to include all of the latest indie rock jams shuffling on her iPod in a section of her GOOP newsletter. How cool of her; she's so hip and current. She listens to Neon Indian when she lets people dress her for the Academy Awards. And, did you know she's great friends with Jay-Z and Beyonce? Did you know that she absolutely loves old-school rap. Oh, yeah totally, she'll bust a rhyme on your ass that would put Vanilla Ice to shame.
Please don't do that ever again.
Fourth, remember you are an Oscar-winning actress
It feels like Paltrow hasn't made a movie in decades. That feeling is completely erroneous. She has consistently put out a movie a year pretty much since her career took off in the early '90s. The problem is that the roles she has chosen are dull and/or that of background material. Pepper Potts? That's the best role Paltrow has landed in the past decade or so? She is an Academy Award winning actress (for some reason). Her choice in roles has been dismal, poor at best. Even her most recent, Thanks For Sharing, earned little more credit than a media blitz over the actress' sexy strip tease. Way to show off your acting chops.
There was a time when Paltrow made good movies. With so much attention spent on ridding the world of gluten and food heated over 115 degrees Fahrenheit, Paltrow has forgotten her acting roots. Why not go fund and star in a solid little indie flick or at the very least a Spielberg biopic, and get yourself back in the game for real. (nothing with singing please)
Lastly, your "lifestyle" is not very relatable
There are plenty of celebrities that have been touting themselves as "lifestyle" experts. Obviously, Stewart is one of the most famous, and while at times her attention to detail is anal and polarizing, you can still get a good recipe for apple pie or learn how to make a paper snowflake out of the lady. Oprah, another lifestyle expert, is riddled with genuine self-esteem issues that she shares honestly in her magazine and talk show, and, plus, she's always giving away cars and schools in Africa. Even Jillian Michaels, from The Biggest Loser, pushes healthy eating and happiness in between her screaming at fat people.
Platrow just makes you feel bad about yourself. And so what is there to do when you don't have the fabulous life of Mrs. Chris Martin? Well, you could buy her $200 cleanse and starve yourself happy or you could purchase some of the clothing that designer Stella McCartney made just to fit her size zero frame or you could just, you know, yacht over to the Costa Rica and drink martinis.
Who in the world can follow Paltrow's life lessons? It's like she is living on an alternate reality and assumes we are all there with her.
As I mentioned, there was a time when I really enjoyed her work and defended her to the naysayers, but she is need of a lifestyle coach. She might want to call Martha Stewart, who in case you didn't know, started that whole "thing."