10 Reasons Grand Theft Auto VI Should be Set in Houston
Our colleagues up in Dallas tackled this question in a semi-serious manner, which is awesome because I completely forgot to tell them how wrong they were yet again (It's not their fault... closer proximity to Oklahoma causes mild brain damage).
All kidding aside, it really had never occurred to me to consider at GTA title here in the Bayou City. Yet the more I think about it the more I am convinced that you could not possibly do any better for a setting. I came up with ten good reasons why.
10. We Have Great NPCs for Quests: Can there possibly be anything better than driving down the street when you run across Juan Carlos distraught because some vandals stole his iPod and now he can no longer dance by the side of the road to entertain the masses at rush hour? You would crash your car to find the guys that pulled so nefarious a stunt and beat them into sill putty. Speaking of beating...
9. We Have Great Places to Beat People Up At: Am I the only one that still gets scared when crossing the 610 bridge over the ship channel? No? Good, now imagine a high speed chase up to the top culminating in a fist fight that sends someone down to the water below? Barring that, how about firefights on Main with the trains whipping back and forth threatening to smash you?
8. A Medical Setting Gives You The Perfect Cover: Houston is home to the nation's largest medical industry, and also to Memorial Hermann Life Flight. What better set-up for a crook than a medical tech that uses his connections in the hospital system to sell drugs and can fly a helicopter? It would be the perfect fast travel system, and you can do more heroic actions like driving ambulances to save people.
7. The Rap Scene Gives Us Great Backdrops: I'm not trying to imply that our rappers are criminals. By and large they're a fantastic group of dedicated and law- abiding artists. That said, nothing says exciting like scenes set at any number of big shows, and we've got the talent pool to put together a really kicking hip hop soundtrack.
6. One Word... Space: No, we can't launch rockets or shuttles from Houston. Hell, we didn't even get a retired shuttle, but that's what video games are for: wish fulfillment. The country associates Houston with space already, let's take GTA into freakin' orbit as proper sequel logic dictates it should have already done by now.
Piece continues on next page.