10 Houston Drivers You Know Or Are One Of

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Yeah, that looks about right.
I will fully admit that I am an awful driver. My car is a series of scratches and dings, few of which I can tell you where they even came from. The thing about my driving is that the only person I ever hurt is myself, or my car rather. Those scrapes and bruises are due to driving too close to parking lot medians or thinking I can fit between two ill-growing trees. Never have I ever hit another car while driving on the street. I understand the rules of driving in a big city and I try my darndest to follow them.

Houstonians seem to have issue with driving. Not that they don't enjoy it, on the contrary, Houstonians love hitting the road. They just follow a rulebook that was invented by other Houstonians. Houston drivers are a special breed.

What's a Turn Signal?

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Turn signal?
If I am not mistaken, and please correct me on the engineering, I think that all cars come with turn signals and have so for many years. Given this bit of information and the fact that not only are turn signals fairly easy to use (you just press them up or down and that's it) but they also make driving safer for all parties involved, it's odd that Houston drivers feel that such things don't exist. It's as if Houston drivers either have no idea what those blinking lights on either side of their car are for, or refuse to acknowledge them.

Here's Good!
I think it's Ford or Mazda or some car company that had the slogan for a while, "we own the road;" never was there a truer statement about Houston drivers. Drivers in H-Town think that the highways and streets are their domain and so, naturally, stopping haphazardly in the middle of one for seemingly no logical reason is absolutely fine. Additionally, busting a U-turn from any lane, really anywhere, is also A-OK. Why not? That's what American freedom is all about, isn't?

I Have Nowhere To Go; I Assume You Don't Either.

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Highway driving in Houston, especially in busy areas on I-45 or the 610 Loop can get pretty hairy during traffic times. But this has nothing to do with the speed of driving that goes on during non-traffic drive. Does everyone know that the speed limit is 60 miles per hour? You know that means you can drive at that velocity? Just checking because you are all driving 40.

I Am An Accountant/Doctor/Office Assistant; Of Course I Have An F-150. There are plenty of people who legitimately need large trucks with long beds to transport heavy machinery and building materials and many such people live and work in Houston. But then there are all those other people who own humongous 4-door, F-150s or Chevy Silverado 1500s and these people are CPAs. Are you worried that you will have just way too much paperwork to haul home? Guy who works in sales -- does that flatbed provide you an opportunity to transfer drunken clients home after you close the deal during an evening at BreWingZ? Why do you need such a large truck? It just puts you in the terrible position to be able to help people move when they ask, and who wants to help anyone move? It doesn't even snow here so don't say you like the four-wheel drive.

Roads? Where We're Going We Don't Need Roads.No one likes sitting in a crowded exit lane, inching along as each car ahead of you finally makes their way to the traffic light that is causing a cluster on the feeder road. But that's the way of life and we all live here. Or is it? Why wait like your average schmo when you can just drive over the grass onto the feeder road? No, it's not a lawful exit lane, but... what? Did you just say something to me? I couldn't hear you. Houstonian drivers have no qualms about making their own exit lanes when the situation demands one. Maybe that's why everyone has trucks.


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29 comments
RockinRobyn
RockinRobyn

The REAL reason that Houston drivers are, well, Houston drivers?? Because they are not FROM Houston!!  It is a fact that most people who call H-Town home are originally from other states/countries (most all of the natives have either moved to Colorado or are living the o&g life abroad, apparently).  So, it's no wonder that most readers (including me) know at least ONE of each these 10... However, as a born-and-bred-native-Houstonian who has lived here all of her life (unless you count the 2 years my family absconded with me to Tucson, AZ - from ages 1-3 years) - and that life has thus far been long enough to raise four children to adulthood (3 of which are still Houstonians, btw) - I can honestly say that the only things I have been guilty of on this list are talking while driving - which I no longer do; those PSAs worked for me - and owning an extended cab, long bed Chevy Silverado 1500, which I drove for three whole months!  The dang thing was just too freaking long, and that statement is from one who has driven 40' long school buses for a living (an even more hair-raising experience than driving a passenger vehicle in this town)!   Nonetheless, I have and always will maintain that H-Town drivers are a melting pot of driving rules and styles, just like our great city!

Suz Warren
Suz Warren

Don't forget the jerks that see the road narrowing from 3 lanes to 2 and everyone lined up, so they the run to the front of the vanishing lane so they can create a logjam there and get in front of the polite, socialized drivers waiting in line.

Kevin Kujawa
Kevin Kujawa

F150 is not a big truck, and that little ranger is a compact car. Welcome to Texas.

Gediminas
Gediminas

Completely true. I'd write the same.... I've been all around the world but nothing like driving in Houston!!! If an accident is on the other side of the high way, the side you are on will slow down a lot as the drivers sharing the way with you are slowing down to look at the accident on the other side. It doesn't have to be always an accident. Any stalled vehicle on the side of the road would be an enough reason to slow down. A LOT!

Turning signal is too much work and may cause calorie's burn! so better not use it!

Passing lane?! Why for? You can always sleep on the left lane, like that you will know that "most" of the cars will be on your right side (one mirror to look at from time to time) and there are no cars merging or exiting! Who are driving behind you can always pass you on your right! It is not your DAMN problem!!! Speed limit is 60 and you are within the speed limit.


I can tell you, driving in Houston is a real nightmare... It has to change but can't imagine how!

Dec12345
Dec12345

My biggest annoyance?  People who commute in the on-ramp/off-ramp on I-10 during rush hour (especially on the west side).  The ramps are for people entering and exiting the freeway, and the people treating them like an extra lane makes merging/exiting that much worse. 


mrcat
mrcat

Heard in Whole Foods back when it was still on Shepherd:

"Will the person who parked a ROLLS ROYCE in the handicapped space please move your car right away or it will be towed" --repeated several times until the owner, wearing a fur coat, came tripping out in her high heels, furious because she was only parked "for a few minutes" so she didn't know what the fuss was about.

Vonnegan
Vonnegan

I've taught my children to say "Ooh, look, that poor man! He could afford a $70,000 car but not the "turn signal" option package. How sad."  

tekksetz
tekksetz

yup, don't be too suprised whn ht yellow truck has a big dent or a nice key scratch all along their car

carriebwc
carriebwc

To be fair, that yellow truck looks like a pretty compact truck to me.

BeCourteous
BeCourteous

BMW drivers need their own special category of bad driver. There are no more poorly driven vehicles on the road.

Oh, and Abby - those dents in your car are directly traceable to your cell phone use while driving. Hang up before you hurt someone.

Texano78704
Texano78704

Then there's my "favorite," the tailgater that hangs on my back bumper even though there are three empty (yes, empty!) lanes to the left.

jkarpe
jkarpe

You forgot the 11th driver. The Police officer driving and chatting on their cell phone while all this goes on around them.

ducttaperoses
ducttaperoses

If you want to drive under the speed limit, stay in the RIGHT-HAND LANES.  People going 50 in the middle of the freeway (or 35 in the left-hand lane on Kuykendahl) are the reason I'll eventually end up in a padded room.  SLOW TRAFFIC KEEP RIGHT.  You are an obstruction.  You're annoying and you're unsafe.  Move over or speed up.


Also, if you're in the right-hand lanes, let people merge.  It's the entrance/exit lane.  If you don't want to share, don't drive in it.  If you're getting ready to exit and need to be in it, don't be a jerk who won't let in people who are entering the freeway.

Katherine Dwyer Raney
Katherine Dwyer Raney

I'll admit it. I am the accountant with a Durango. Ha ha It's great when we're all together on the weekends but probably not needed to commute across Houston everyday. I also have a bumper sticker with the definition of a "passing lane" on it.

Chelsea Goode
Chelsea Goode

I swear this list came straight out of my brain.

wadfw
wadfw

I love the D-bags that cruse in the lane that is an exit only lane because there is no traffic but then stop to enter the clogged lanes because they are really, really, important and needed  that extra 12 seconds that would have been wasted if they had just stayed in their lane to begin with.

jasonofthesea
jasonofthesea

"Of Course I have an F-150" haha oh my god, seriously

spaceysteph
spaceysteph

I used to drive a small SUV, and parked in compact when that's all that was available. If I fits, I sits.

Statler_Bro
Statler_Bro

@BeCourteous 

Agree yet I have an even more special category for Subaru drivers. They seem less entitled but much much less skilled...

goneko
goneko

@BeCourteous Oh man, thought I was the only one who noticed the BMWs.

spaceysteph
spaceysteph

I call bullshit. I've never seen 3 empty lanes on any highway here.

Gediminas
Gediminas

@ducttaperoses  Most of the time, it is the right of the cars exiting the freeway! Sure it will also depend on the situation. I mean, if you can slow a bit to help a car entering the freeway, then just DO IT. That's how you "Share" the road! Sometimes I even make sure a car will have a safe entry to the freeway before I exit the freeway.

Gediminas
Gediminas

@wadfw you are talking about the 610 exit to i-45 toward Galveston? The long exit lane that people will merge into just at the exit Y of the 610 ?

ShutUpAndDrive
ShutUpAndDrive

@goneko 

What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine?

Porcupines carry their pricks on the outside.

gossamersixteen
gossamersixteen topcommenter

@goneko No the more expensive the car the worse the driver, something to do with their supposed sense of entitlement..  Or they're Cartmen "whatever I'll do what I want"...

Texano78704
Texano78704

@spaceysteph Apparently you never drive after 10 pm then. There are lots of times when there is little traffic on a number of freeways. Stay a little longer in Houston and you'll find out when.

BeCourteous
BeCourteous

@gossamersixteen @goneko 

It goes like this:

BMW's are the worst drivers, bar none - stupid, entitled and aggressive. They seem like they really are actively to hurt people.

Mercedes drivers are the most clueless. (Think housewives that only drive to drop their kids off at school.)

Jags are inevitably the most inconsiderate parkers.

spaceysteph
spaceysteph

@Texano78704 actually I work rotating shifts (evenings and midnights put me on the road around midnight) and enjoy the night life and I've still never seen a highway in Houston without some congestion. You must just be lucky!

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