Same-Sex Marriage, Overcoming Homophobia and Playing The Floor Is Lava

Categories: Random Ephemera
My parents were completely non-religious, so I didn't have that hang up, but for 20 straight years of my life you could feel anti-gay sentiment throbbing in the air in a million little ways. Subtle jokes and throwaway lines whispered that gay was wrong, no argument necessary. They were at best to be tolerated, certainly not associated with. The idea that there were completely normal folks like my friends Naomi and Rachel and their twins pictured up there just never entered my mind.

It was cultural background noise all around me, like a song with melody you never forget but never learn the words to. Can't imagine what it must be like to be gay and have heard that song since you were born. Must be awful.

Because I was a somewhat atypical teenager who hung out in odd places I was always getting weird signals, hit on by strange people, and having very confusing erotic dreams. When you're seeped in that cultural game that pretends gays are pariahs, the idea that you might be one is frightening. And scared people lash out. Scared people are dangerous people.

Little by little, I met homosexuals because, you know, they exist and they just walk around in the daylight like other humans. It's as simple as that. One of my first bosses was gay. She was a good boss. Funny, a little weird but that's what you get at an art house movie theater. Then I'd find out that someone else I knew was gay, and realize that it didn't really change anything. A bisexual person here, a transgendered one there, even this endearing declared asexual girl who went only by J that I thoroughly enjoyed the company of.

It's really hard to live in fear of something that stands only five feet tall and makes you oatmeal raisin cookies.

See also: The Best Red Profile Pics Supporting the Marriage Equality Movement

The way I see it, there are two sets of rules. The first set we call laws, and we all have to live by them. Good ones like don't kill people, confusing ones that we don't understand because we're not in charge and can't see the big picture, and stupid ones because the government is like your parents in that they are just regular, fallible people.

I'm not sure there's a name for the second set. Norms? Customs? Taboos? It's the default guidelines of the majority in any given area. Everyone in town likes chili, most people go to the Baptist church, y'all coming to the football game on Saturday? That sort of thing. With those rules comes the vague idea that anyone who breaks them is just wrong. Is off. You can't point to any specific reason why, really, just as you cannot point to a single verifiably logical reason for the oppression of gays or the opposition of same-sex marriage. But you feel it in the air. They stink of difference, and difference is judgment when you're childish.

It's just a game, though. It's just pretending the floor is lava. The game is over now. It really is. The president of the United States has expressed his support of equal rights for all LGBT Americans and people abroad. The Supreme Court has ruled that discrimination of the same is unconstitutional. Even the IRS has had enough of us jumping on the furniture, knocking over lamps, and THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS.

The time has come for us all to grow up. To quit being scared of the dark, and to put away the game. I know there are a lot of people that don't want to, and as we walk across the floor they'll scream that the lava is burning you. It's not though. It's just a ratty carpet, and we're not brave jungle explorers, and homosexuals have names like Susan and Murray and go to Kroger and file taxes and clean up cat vomit and stuff like that.

The floor is the floor, and rights are rights, and people are people.

Jef has a new story, a tale of headless strippers and The Rolling Stones, available now in Broken Mirrors, Fractured Minds. You can also connect with him on Facebook.

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Nicole Summers
Nicole Summers

#FC2-4utexas. Female condoms cover more surface area. Men use them too.

Nicole Summers
Nicole Summers

#FC2-4utexas. Female condoms aren't just for women.

Paige Mann
Paige Mann

I'm kinda partial to that Joey guy. xoxo to all THREE of you!


Today I thnk most anyone would spit in Joey's face simply because he is a terrible reviewer of concerts and music, and writes senseless drivel and unnecessary negative comments about music of which he knows nothing.


......  wonder how this is relevant...because one dude FINALLY became enlightened. Get over yourself. 

JefWithOneF topcommenter

@acv227 I felt it could be a helpful guide to people who don't understand why they're homophobic and instead blame it on religion or "natural law" or some other crap. 

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