13 Things I Would Tell My Son About Being a Man

Categories: Parenting

manliness1.jpg
I am plagued in my life by an ever-expanding line of people obsessed with the idea that "manliness" and "masculinity" are under threat, maybe even extinct. I can't comment on a single issue involving sexual assault or women's rights without some shining example of my gender leaving a 300-word comment talking about how feminism has turned men into, I don't know, men, but the kind that were in cages in the first Planet of the Apes flick.

Change can be a scary thing, I understand that. I myself need a strong shot of vodka to take any new operating system on head first. That said, the true definition of manliness has not actually changed at all. What you're seeing is the death of cowardice disguised as strength, and control masquerading as protection.

The art of being a man is still alive and well, and if it is to survive into the rest of the 21st century then it will require applying traditional principles to an ever-shifting world of new paradigms. What is a modern example of manliness?

Flashback
Apparently Actually Listening to Women is a Superpower

13. A man produces something. Preferably, he produces more than he consumes, but regardless of his circumstance he creates something for others to enjoy and be thankful for. This can be monetary wealth, child-rearing, home maintenance, artistic work, anything as long as he refuses to lay idle and only consume. A real man knows the meaning of worth because he is intimately familiar with being the source of it.

12. A man knows that men have traditionally held power in society; therefore it falls to men to be ever-vigilant in noticing wrongs that must be righted. A man does not allow misogynists, racists, bigots, rapists, or other hateful folk to operate without rebuke. Those things should not be, not within the reach of his hand. A real man seeks fairness and justice in all things.

11. There are areas where society is unfair to men, such as America's lack of paternity leave for instance. A man seeks to emulate the brave struggle of other groups by fighting to end those unfair practices through lobby, petition, protest, and court. A real man does not seek his due by insisting that the rights of others be ignored, or that their complaints are imaginary or manipulative. Yes, Men's Rights Activists, I'm talking to you. Rent a bus and hit Michael's for sign supplies instead of calling women bitches if you want unfairness in child support or custody laws to get more attention.

10. A man celebrates the march to equality by all who seek it, because to fight and to refuse to stay down when society knocks you to your knees is the essence of integrity. A real man knows that more rights for others does not mean fewer rights for himself, and that even when women are fighting oppression they are often fighting to lift men with them along the way.

9. A man is comfortable with his own sexuality, including quirks, kinks, hang-ups, and fetishes as long as these things are legal and between consenting adults. He acknowledges these openly, and does not allow any vague societal sense of shame to twist his own desires into a form of hate. He also understands that others may be different from himself, but that it is not his place to judge another person's preferences in this regard. He does not mistake what is evil, rape and pedophilia and the like, for desire but recognizes them as sickness and wrongness.



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26 comments
rodvanmechelen
rodvanmechelen

Right. And when Mom decides the only thing she wants from Dad is Financial Support, divorces him and uses the Family Courts to drive him away and deprive him of his children, well, Man up, Dad, never forget your privilege. And you young men out there, when Woman decides you're too much of a nerd to have the right to ask her out on a date and accuses you of sexual harassment, well, Man up and remember your privilege. And when feminists stereotype you as a rapist because less than 1% of men actually do commit rape, Man up and remember your privilege. Feminism is not about equality and the Women's Movement became a Hate Movement a long time ago.

rickleo123
rickleo123

Sounds more like a list written to supplicate to Feminist needs and emasculate yourself. The author is your typical mangina brainwashed by media into thinking men have "male privilege" when the law, courts, government, biology and life say otherwise. If women and men are equal then why do I need to protect them? Why does a man have to pay alimony to a women who cheats on him? Feminists want their cake and to eat it too by bending laws for their benefit and making men pay the consequences. Real Men need to stand up to drivel like this.

William Pora
William Pora

Everything I needed to learn about being a man I learned from lynyrd skynyrd's song simple man.

Jon Bowers
Jon Bowers

I always tell my sons that ill accept their bad decisions as long as they are theirs. Don't be a follower. In a perfect world, be both a leader and make smart decisions.

Cory Cousins
Cory Cousins

When a man expels gas in the elevator, he claims it, and does not blame the portly gentleman standing next to him.

andrehabet
andrehabet

I really love your list.

I had learned a lot of these from a book I read while in high school and it helped me discard a lot of the bs I had learned up until that point about being a man.

My only point of contention is when you say that a man should be comfortable with his fetishes so long as it is legal. However, in my home country of Belize and I believe in some US states, sodomy is still illegal. Don't know how you'd amend the phrasing to correct for that though.

okyourabeast
okyourabeast

A real man thinks for himself, makes his own decisions, takes care of his responsibilities, and adds value to the world around him where he sees fit.


A real man does not write a 13 point blog on how to be a real man with 12 of 13 points being nothing more than pandering to feminists due to that man's insatiable neediness for female approval. Of course his neediness probably stems from a lack of success with women which is a product of him not knowing how to be a real man in the first place.

Jay Pertz
Jay Pertz

Interesting opinionated manifesto

jrayderr
jrayderr

Of course, hand squeezing your own orange juice goes a long way.

Jef Withonef
Jef Withonef

Chuck Norris lost a fight with high school biology.

Eric Walls
Eric Walls

Get in a fight with Chuck Norris' beard and win. Only then, will you become a man.

sg.alxndr
sg.alxndr

PETULANCE. This is exactly the word I've been searching for! You hit the nail on the head, Jef.

JefWithOneF
JefWithOneF topcommenter

@andrehabet Yeah, I couldn't think of a good way either :( Thanks for the kind words though!

comstone
comstone

@okyourabeast I think you don't understand what "feminism" or "feminist" means. 

Your "conclusion" about "probably stems from a lack of success" with women is a non sequitur and you ignore the fact that the author is married. 

Suggest you get out and meet more people. Diversify. Enjoy life.

MadMac
MadMac topcommenter

@okyourabeast There's an article Scott Raab wrote in Esquire a couple years ago that would be right up your alley. It expounds a view that treatment of spousal abusers has failed based on "feminist orthodoxy," that "doesn't work." They quote blues songs and "real life" examples of men unencumbered by an "insatiable need for female approval." They Added value where they saw fit but were broken--not by their wounded-little-boy fits--but by feminists. It's very he-man stuff. Check it out, it's called "Men Explode."

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