Maybe Now We'll Finally Have a Good Batman: Ben Affleck is the New Dark Knight

Categories: Film and TV

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Last night the Internet exploded after the announcement that Ben Affleck would be playing Batman in the film currently known as Batman vs. Superman. From what Twitter tells me, most people are not happy about this choice, mostly because Ben Affleck is not Jon Hamm.

This is weird mostly because a) most people aren't Jon Hamm, so that seems like a silly reason to be upset and b) I thought we were all cool with Affleck again after The Town and Argo.

Of course, the announcement that Affleck will be the new Dark Knight also means that Christian Bale successfully turned down the truckload of money WB offered him to come back. Good, because now that he's not coming back to the role, it's time we all admit what we've been ignoring since Batman Begins:

Christian Bale was a terrible Batman.

Make no mistake: Christian Bale is a great actor. He's a big chunk of what makes American Psycho the fun movie it is. He's great enough to make you ignore the gaping problems in Equilibrium. He kills it in The Prestige.

Hell, he's even a great Bruce Wayne. Outside of the cape and cowl he's charming, warm, funny, emotional... you know, actually human.

And yet, somehow, over the course of three movies, he managed to have one and a half great moments as Batman. Here's the first:

And the half comes from the very beginning of The Dark Knight where he mentions not wearing hockey pads. That joke is funny.

But it's that voice, that dumb, awful tough guy voice that he uses to "hide his identity" that makes it impossible to ever take Bale's Batman seriously. It feels like a pro-wrestler trying to cut a promo on a bad guy rather than the voice of justice. He never emotes- just talks in different volumes of huskiness. It's a credit to the actors opposite Bale that any of the scenes work because they're the ones who end up having to do the heavy lifting.

I mean, does anyone really think Bale brings anything to this scene other than a warm body for Heath Ledger to act circles around:

And don't get me started about that scene in The Dark Knight Rises where Selena Kyle gives him the slip on the rooftop and he talks to himself in that dumb voice. That whole theory about "Batman is the man, Bruce Wayne is the mask" is only interesting if Batman himself is interesting. (Not to mention, seeing as how he - spoiler alert - stops being Batman at the end of the movie anyway, that theory doesn't even work with DKR.)

Now, I can't say whether or not Affleck will be any good in the role, but I've got high hopes. Affleck is a talented dude and Batman isn't too far off from the characters he's played in The Town/Argo, ignoring the extreme wealth, ninja training, cool gadgets, and awesome cave.

Batfans, it's time we stop dreaming and start facing the new reality. Let's see how this all plays out. Together, we can try and keep an open mind and not act like those weird Star Trek fans who hate everything.

Unless he starts talking in a funny voice. Then I'll be the first in line to tell him, "Argo fuck yourself, Batman."


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46 comments
NrrI
NrrI

Yea could never get past his Batman voice

Matthew Ashton
Matthew Ashton

umm Bale is a GREAT actor. The Dark Knight trilogy was badass.. WTF HP? WTF...

Rick Houdek
Rick Houdek

Agreed del Rio, besides, the voice is equally fault of the sound engineer and in no way should discredit the last trilogy.

Victor Del Rio
Victor Del Rio

The batvoice is to Bruce Wayne what the glasses are to Clark Kent.

Eric Walls
Eric Walls

Then again, filming hasn't started yet. Maybe someone will realize this gigantic mistake, and Affleck will drop out. You suck so much, Ben!

Eric Walls
Eric Walls

Bale was no Keaton, but Affleck? This is going to suck as hard as Daredevil.

Brent Nobles
Brent Nobles

Please stop writing about this topic and stick to Houston-related stories.

del.martinis
del.martinis topcommenter

Tom Cruise as Lestat sucked and now so will Ben as Bat!

manwalklikebear
manwalklikebear

If you think Bale sucked, you don't know Batman. Was your favorite Clooney?

Angel Gayle
Angel Gayle

Well, I loved Bale (voice not withstanding) but I seem to be the only one (not working for HP) looking forward to Affleck. Yeah, he's had some bombs, but he is actually a phenomenal actor. Really, he's badly cast when he's the lead role in a romantic comedy (gasp!), but all the Affleck haters probably have only seen a small portion of his roles and are basing their opinions on Affleck's well publicized flops like Gigli, which honestly must be blamed more on Lopez than Affleck.

Pony Eugene Hutchins
Pony Eugene Hutchins

How come no one complains about Kevin Conroys batman? After all, he's the one who established the alternate batman voice.

Todd Coulter
Todd Coulter

Batman's been ruined. I will never spend a cent or a minute watching Ben Affleck as Batman... or as anyone else for that matter...

Trillian Ninetysix
Trillian Ninetysix

Bale sucked as Batman and the voice was an abomination. But I'd still take a 10 year old prepubescent Christian Bale as the Dark Knight over Affleck. He's not the guy. If the goal is to screw it up, why not just cast Kevin Costner and be done with it?

David Okun
David Okun

man they let anyone write for the press these days, dont they?

Colby Jack
Colby Jack

I didn't like the Houston Press so I could read troll articles and the Top 10 acts of douchebaggery. What happened to promoting local artists and keeping me up to date with cool things around town?

MadMac
MadMac topcommenter

I was hoping for Jack Black. ~Sigh~ Fun article, Mr. Garcia.

Larry McLarry
Larry McLarry

Houston Press is starting to look more and more stupid.

Jonathan Sendejo
Jonathan Sendejo

This was the dumbest thing I've ever read. The only argument made is a weak one that might have had some support immediately after Batman Begins and even then it wouldn't have been much.

Chris Loll
Chris Loll

Have you guys really resorted to trolling for hits?

Brad Lambert
Brad Lambert

Not going to even read this article due to the incomprehensibly inaccurate and stupid title.

Meni Koulakiotis
Meni Koulakiotis

HP, have you lost your mind?!? Ben Affleck ruins everything he touches. I'd rather you go back to your annoying posts about juggalos every 20-something minutes.

Nikki Alex
Nikki Alex

HP probably thinks Clooney was the best Batman.

Holly Kelch
Holly Kelch

Michael Keaton still my favorite modern-day batman. Bale takes 2nd place.

Brent Nobles
Brent Nobles

Houston Press, you are rapidly slipping.

Papa_Kin
Papa_Kin

WTF has happened to the Houston Press? Can't you write something of substance instead of trolling for hits from fan boys?

Mike Valdez
Mike Valdez

Batman a voice should be a crossover between Clint Eastwood and a demon. Failing to realize how important the voice is , shows your lack of knowledge of the character which would mean you should stick to writing about emo bands at open mic night at fritzgerlds (sic)

Mike Valdez
Mike Valdez

Houston press...has no idea what they are ever taking about... Sure HP would prefer some hipster/hollister/emo model

Cody Johnson
Cody Johnson

Bale kicked ass. I seem to be the only one who didn't mind the voice.

JefWithOneF
JefWithOneF topcommenter

You did this whole article just for that one pun didn't you?

Alex
Alex

This whole article reeks of shitstorming to drive hits. Thankfully it totally abolishes your journalistic integrity as well. I'm not saying Affleck will be good or bad, but this article is for shit.

vpbuckles
vpbuckles

Are you nuts? Bale was a great Batman. I admit the voice wasn't my favorite part of it but come on, he WAS Batman. Affleck has started to grow on me as an actor but there is no way he could come close to Bale.  One word. Daredevil.

MadMac
MadMac topcommenter

An article written expressly to be read? GTFO. Next you'll tell me movies are made solely to be seen. Ridiculous. This totally aboblishes your commenting integrity.   

craig.malisow
craig.malisow

@Alex Yeah, Cory. Blogging about one of the most successful franchises in Hollywood history and weighing in on the buzz surrounding a surprising choice for a highly anticipated movie -- on a blog that discusses movies, no less! Have you no sense of decency, sir? At long last, have you left no sense of decency?

vpbuckles
vpbuckles

And it was so bad it is still ridiculed a decade later.

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