10 Mario Games You've Probably Never Heard Of
All Night Nippon Super Mario Bros.: Mario once sold out hard. How hard? Well, it was early in his career and he teamed up with a popular Japanese radio show called All Night Nippon to release a one of a kind licensed port to be given away as a raffle prize. In the game, Mario is still the star, but all the enemies have been replaced with caricatures of the DJs in addition to the symbol on the flags at the end of the level being replaced with the logo of the show's producer.
Oh, and instead of rescuing the princess Mario would rescue Japanese celebrities like Takaaki Ishibashi, who played Isuro Tanaka in Major League II.
Alleyway: So let's say you're Nintendo and you want some of that sweet, sweet Breakout pie. You've got a problem though, because it's the late '80s and you and Atari are swapping lawsuits like Alf trading cards (I said it was the late '80s). What do you do?
Well, you make a game that is as close to Breakout as humanly possible, and then you draw a very tiny Mario in the little spaceship to call it a Mario game. For some reason, more than Dr. Mario, more than just having a leisurely go-kart race, this one bothers me more than anything else. Is there seriously no one else in the Mushroom Kingdom that can destroy alien blocks from a spaceship shaped like the medication you should probably be taking so you don't hallucinate this crap?
Excitebike: Mario Battle Stadium: For reasons I've never fully understood, Excitbike remains this really classic title that we all love in spite of the fact that it's objectively terrible. I'm not letting myself of the hook, here, by the way. I just played it a few moments ago to make sure this point was valid. My reaction was, "This is awful. I'm having so much fun." I think I need to take that spaceship pill I mentioned last entry.
In 1995, the Japanese SNES had something called a Satellaview, which was a modem-enabler that allowed you to download games. In 1995! You could even use it to listen to the radio. One of the games was a reimagining of Excitbike with Mario characters, and you know what? It absolutely kills! Seriously, why this hasn't made a comeback is beyond me.
I am a Teacher: Super Mario Sweater: Nintendo has this weird thing with knitting. No really. They were actually going to release a knitting controller that would couple with a game so you could design patterns. The plan was to use this to market to the parents of girls that wanted to own the system so they could assure the parents that the girls weren't just having fun, they were learning domestic skills. Not a bit of that was made up.
The controller went nowhere, but Nintendo did team with Japanese appliance maker Royal Industries to make this title for the Famicom Disc System. It's actually not a bad idea. Players could design their own sweaters featuring licensed characters, then either make their own using a sewing machine or order one from the company for $24. Though it didn't work out, I bet if Nintendo tried this again here in the age of Etsy they'd make a fortune.
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