Back To School Lessons From the Movie Back To School
The end of August has this very funny way of temporarily cooling down. All of a sudden those email solicitations from the Gap about boots and jackets don't seem all that ridiculous. Shopping for a light sweater, in fact, sounds lovely. It's a total farce, of course. My mother used to claim that the weather gods had a deal with Macy's so that people would do their back-to-school shopping right before the weather got insanely hot again.
For some, back-to-school is a glorious time of new beginnings and excitement, seeing friends again, wearing your week's worth of new clothing and getting to learn a whole year of new stuff. But those people are crazy and probably nerds. Really, back-to-school is awful. It means summer is over, sleeping in is no more and your brain, that has spent the past three months coagulating, is now in need of use. Whether you are a student or a teacher, hitting the books again is miserable.
Let's all agree, no one likes back to school, unless however, we are talking about the Rodney Dangerfield movie of the same name! That version of Back To School is amazeballs. Not only is it a classic film that doesn't get enough "respect," there are valuable lessons that can be gleaned from Dangerfield's character Thorton Melon. Take this as a tutorial on how to succeed this year at your respective educational institutions by utilizing Thorton Melon's tips.
1. When In a Jam, Pay Someone Off
The entire premise behind Back To School is that Thorton is trying to convince his son how important education is, and, to do so, he suggests that he also go back to college out of solidarity. Thorton is a very rich man having made his fortunes in the clothing concerns of overweight men, and he doesn't really need to go to college. Lesson one may then include the subheading: You don't really need to go to college if you make a lot of money. (Kayne West would agree) But Thorton decides going back is the way to prove his love for his son, but he has no educational background. None. How do you get into college with neither a high school diploma, GED or SAT scores, you ask? Buy the college a new wing!
2. Making Friends Is Way More Important Than Studying
This Back To School lesson is a no brainer. Who wouldn't rather hit up a raging kegger than stay at home and study for their upcoming chem exam? Boring. Let me tell you something as a grownup who has been outside of school for a while: You will never use geometry again. Never. You don't even need to know the difference between a square and circle. Someone will tell you if you ask them. They may look at you weird, but they are probably ugly anyway. Thorton proves his success in life is not because of cracking the books, but because of his ability to crack jokes and mad beers.