Back To School Lessons From the Movie Back To School
3. Hire People To Do Your Work, But Be Careful Who You Hire
Rather than doing any of his own schoolwork, Thorton hires professionals in their respective expertise to do the work for him. Traditionally, getting, say, a CEO of a Fortune 500 company to take your marketing mid-term would be a fabulous use of your funds, but be warned. As Thorton learns in Back To School, not every pro knows his or her stuff. This point is proven when Thorton gets an F on a paper about a Kurt Vonnegut novel which was written by the author Kurt Vonnegut. Justifiably, if this happens to you, you may want to point out to your teacher that he/she has no idea what he/she is talking about because the author of the book you were writing about wrote your essay, but think before you do that. Take the F, rather than expulsion.
4. You Can Pass All Of Your Classes By Cramming For Like a Week
How many classes are you taking this semester? Four? Five. Blow them all off, a la Thorton Melon, party hard (but refer to it as partying "hearty," please) and then beg for forgiveness at the semester's end. If your professors are anything like the ones at the highly accredited "Grand Lakes University," all of them will allow you to goof off all semester and you will still pass with a D. This is because cramming for all of your courses at the very last minute is not only possible, but it is preferred. Way to save yourself time and energy; that's using your noggin.
5. Your Attractive Professor Will Have a Crush On You
As sloppy, moronic, drunk, misogynistic, and unattractive Thorton Melon may have been, these facts do nothing to hurt his chance at love with his very attractive, intelligent English professor Dr. Turner. Some of us may find it very difficult to believe that such a catch of an educator would fall for such a slob, while others of us would think that the possibility of a relationship between teacher and student is immoral and probably illegal. In Back To School, neither of these points are valid. So you're hot for teacher? Just go for it. What's the worst that can happen? Soul crushing embarrassment or possibly an arrest? Meh, that's their loss!
Use these lessons wisely and welcome back to school.