5 '80s TV Shows That Need Comics

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Coming soon in digital comic form!
I will admit to being a little behind the curve on this one but I just read that Lion Forge Comics and NBC Universal are taking some of nostalgia's favorite television shows from the '80s and '90s and making them into digital comics. The shows currently on the docket are Saved By the Bell, Punky Brewster, Knight Rider, Airwolf and Miami Vice. The comics will give new life to some of your favorite characters that you may have been wondering what the hell they've been up to? Did Punky ever find her real parents or a pair of matching shoes? Did Tubbs from Miami Vice ever realize that his name was something of an insult?

Turning television shows into comic books is nothing new; there is an entire series of Buffy the Vampire Slayer books and The X-Files, releasing them digitally is a exciting new format and makes the publishing much easier. While the chosen titles are sufficient, there are way better shows from the '80s that need their own comics. Here are the top five.

Small WonderOn the show Vicki started to look old and absurd measures were necessary to explain away her aging, as we all know robots don't go through puberty. In comic form and the fact that it's 2013, we know that robots will eventually take over the planet and Vicki becomes the leader of the robot revolution; her archenemies being the next-door neighbors the Brindles. Ted and Joan Lawson wonder if it was their poor parenting skills that caused the world's demise.

Golden GirlsAs comics, the Golden Girls could live forever in their Miami retirement paradise. I imagine that they become private detectives solving cases of missing dentures and social security checks. Naturally, each of their cases is stymied by Rose doing something really moronic and Blanche trying to sleep with the man who has hired them. The obvious arc of the plot will be that the nefarious ring leader for the underground retiree community is Stanley Zbornak, but Dorothy still loves him... and the plot thickens.

BaywatchDon't pretend that you wouldn't want to see some R-rated comics with the Baywatch ladies saving lives and losing their bikinis while chugging Coronas at late-night beach parties. And don't pretend you wouldn't want to see Hasselhoff in comic form. You totally do.

ThirtysomethingThis conversation would be more about whose kids eat Pirate Booty and whose eat the Kroger brand in 2013
Keep the characters of the game-changing series the same but update it for the millennium. What are the Steadmans like now? They still work in advertising but now it's in data-mining. They are still an interfaith couple but Michael has converted to kabbalah and Hope is an atheist. Their kids have ADHD and autism and they think it has a lot to do with their diet so they are constantly discussing pesticide-free organic food at their local Whole Foods while they drink craft beer and food shop. Nancy, the stay at home mom and artist, is a multi-media performance artist now and she uses her kids a lot as human puppets in her one-woman show, that is when they are not at ultimate frisbee practice. They all go to the same therapist who is actually not a doctor but a certified life coach/acupuncturist because that is what thirtysomethings do in 2013. And they all wear Toms because they are really comfortable and they help kids get shoes.

Great American HeroGreat American Hero screams, "make me into a comic book please!" Ralph is the perfect superhero for our times; he's a hot mess. He's sort of a metaphor for everything wrong in the world. In 2013, though, Ralph won't be putting out Molotov cocktails with his "superbreath," instead he will befriend Edward Snowden and get the hidden dongle that contains all of the government's top-secret NSA files and we'll find out that it has nothing to do with terrorism protection at all but rather they contain the first pictures of North West.



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2 comments
MadMac
MadMac topcommenter

"Crime Story," by Frank Miller--but not 1980s-mildly-racist-female-objectifing Frank Miller--but 2013-full-on xenophobe-fascist-misogynist-bigot Frank Miller's take on Lt. Turillo. Oh, and instead of Las Vegas, it's gotta be Dubai. Mos def Dubai, 'cause that's what's now and where an American, e-Cig-smoking law man would lay it down on the Islamo-mafia.

Fun stuff, Ms. Koenig.

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