Five Lady Celebs Who Look Great, But Still Need Makeovers

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Photo by Caroline Bonarde Ucci
Under no circumstances is Dame Helen on this list.
Sometimes (every day) I daydream about what it would be like to have piles of money and access to more designer clothes and makeup than I could ever possibly wear in one lifetime. This habit is kind of hilarious, when you consider I hardly wear any of the piles of clothes in my own closet, instead rotating the same few dresses and jeans/tops combo for my day-to-day, work-from-home life.

If I were living a life of endless photograph-able opportunities, I like to think I'd really go crazy, mixing it up all the time and trying cool new things. After all, I wouldn't have to make decisions (stylists!) or go shopping (personal shoppers!) or do my own hair or makeup; if people were just handing me things, I would try out new stuff all the time. So why do so many beautiful women in Hollywood always look kind of ... the same?

All of these ladies always look great, but I want all of them to go totally bonkers and wear something different. Let's play Dress Up the Rich Celebrity!

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Photo by Genevieve
1950s-style dress, check; belt with bow, check; bangs and cardigan, check, check; wide-eyed innocence, check.
Zooey Deschanel

Oh, hello there bangs, and dresses with tights, and fringe-y cat eye. It's you. Again. I love Zooey Deschanel, okay? Even when a Dallas-Fort Worth Fox affliliate's closed captioning system named her as the Boston marathon bombing suspect, I was like--that's cool, she's still real funny and sweet. And then even after she wasn't the Boston marathon bombing suspect, I was like--what a relief, New Girl won't be cancelled, WHEW!

But she's so twee and it's getting kind of grating. We get the whole thrift store-chic thing she's got going, and her cutie-hipster vibe seems authentic enough but does she always have to practice the same variation on the theme? How about no bangs, or a sleek column gown, or a--bite my tongue!--jumpsuit? Anything to make her look just a little more modern!

At the recent Met Gala Zooey did brush her bangs back from her face for a minute (and we hardly recognized her as a result), but the seersucker gown was just a question mark. Be sexy, Zooey--because you are.

Jennifer Aniston

All black, all the time! It's really not a surprise that as Rachel on Friends Aniston's character worked at Ralph Lauren. That's really Aniston's vibe: classic American girl, minimal hair and makeup (though it takes a lot of makeup to get the no-makeup look so flawlessly), and even more minimal accessories. She's Lauren, she's Hilfiger, she's ... Aveeno and Smart Water. Oh god, even her endorsements are boring.

Right now Jennifer has been playing with waistlines, mostly (it seems) in an effort to amuse herself at the continued pregnancy rumors that surround her. I approve of that, even if all of the waistlines are IN BLACK.

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1 comments
MadMac
MadMac topcommenter

"The whole thing gave me cavities."

Comment of the day, right there, y'all.

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