Top 10 Zack Morris-Inspired Items on Etsy

Categories: Random Ephemera

I was a passionate fan of both Good Morning, Miss Bliss and Saved by the Bell. Especially the latter, and it's all because of the fact that lead character Zack Morris was a crazed, megalomaniacal psychopath who could stop time. Seriously, he was such a bizarrely charming yet dangerously powerful and unhinged person that I honestly believe he should be the villain in the next Bill and Ted movie. On Etsy, Zack Morris has his own little cult-making fetishes. Here are the best.

Now, I have no problem even with neo-Nazis putting the onesies they like on their kids. If there's one thing all creeds and peoples can agree on, it's that if you're going to be responsible for caring for a being made of poop and crying, then you should at least get to stick him or her in the clothes of your choice until he's old enough to fight it. The Itty Bitty Boutique ranges from cute to offensive, and has a great love of '80s pop culture. Both Zack and Alf are available, or as I call them, The Beast and his Hound.

10 Most Bizarre Valentine's Gifts on Etsy

There's a fair amount of Zack Morris jewelry available on Etsy, like these earrings from Meowheads. Meowheads specializes in these severed head playing card earrings, a sentence I really, really hope I am the first and last person to type. Each one bears a quote from whatever character is featured, and here we have Morris's famous "Time out." Considering how Morris would use his power to sabotage kisses and frame friends for punching authority figures, you have to wonder about the person who would wear these earrings.

Let's go ahead and get all the jewelry out of the way because frankly, it creeps me the hell out only slightly less than the thought of Kesha's necklace made of fan teeth. This piece from Faheema can be ordered as a necklace or a broach. Also...does anyone else see a weird resemblance to Barack Obama? I know some people think the president is the Anti-Christ, but I had no idea that meant this specific one.

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I've had this Etsy giftcard for a while now, unsure of what to spend it on. Thank you Jef.

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