Pop Rocks: After Evil Dead, Are Any Horror Movies Safe from Remake Mania?

Categories: Pop Rocks

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Don't even think about it.
The reboot of Sam Raimi's shoestring classic Evil Dead topped the box office last weekend with $26 million, beating both G.I. Joe: Retaliation and The Croods (both in their second week of release). The Los Angeles Times has an interesting piece on the increasing popularity of horror movies (at least domestically), indicating Hollywood isn't done with them by a long shot.

They may be struggling for original story ideas, however. Evil Dead is only the most recent of several decades-old genre flicks to get a recent do-over. Name any late 20th century horror title and not only has it probably already generated a number of sequels, but a newer version has probably already been made. Texas Chain Saw Massacre? Check. Halloween? Check. Friday the 13th Ch-ch-ch-a-a-a-check. Nightmare on Elm Street, The Thing, Straw Dogs, even exploitation classics like I Spit on Your Grave and The Last House on the Left have been reimagined for new audiences. Not to mention the Carrie remake comes out later this year.

Hollywood's already well into mining other countries for their product (South Korea and Japan, especially), but I was more curious about what horror films might be safe from reimagining. It was harder than I thought.

The first thing you have to look at is if there would be any point in remaking the movie in question. Some of you are probably of the opinion that there's no point in remaking any movie, which is a very cute, antiquated position to hold.

What I mean is, has the title in question already been so diluted by sequels and/or knockoffs that remaking it would be utterly pointless? I'm thinking mostly of Jaws, which has spawned a thus far unending series of imitators -- some decent (Deep Blue Sea), some terrible (Shark Night 3D) -- many of which aren't even about sharks (Up from the Depths, Crocodile, Tentacles). Some, like Piranha, even inspired their own sequels and remakes in a widening gyre of craptacularity.


And let's not forget Jaws' own sequels, which serve as the celluloid embodiment of the law of diminishing returns. I've been reviewing movies for more than ten years now, and even with all the terrible self-indulgent garbage I've watched on poorly dubbed VHS tapes from wannabe Kevin Smiths and George A. Romeros, Jaws: The Revenge is still one of the worst movies I've ever seen. And that includes the Tera Patrick porno with all the sex removed.

I see The Exorcist cited a lot as a movie that can't be remade, and while I'm not sure I agree, I have to admit it's unlikely for the aforementioned reasons. How many exorcism movies have there been in the last decade? Ten? I don't think Hollywood holds the original in higher regard than it does any other property it can make a cheap buck off of, but it probably thinks we're pretty sated when it comes to girls (it's always a girl) who pukes pea soup and barks in an unintelligible language. Bad news for Amanda Bynes.

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6 comments
Warehouse Live
Warehouse Live

Nooooo Monster Squad remake please! It's a classic

Joshua Justice
Joshua Justice

Evil Dead was remade BY Raimi. But if anyone touches monster squad, I'm going columbine.

Robin Varner
Robin Varner

They could try The Birds Alfred Hitchcock but wouldnt be the same

J.A.Justice
J.A.Justice

"A widening gyre of craptacularity." Brilliant.

pete.vonderhaar
pete.vonderhaar

@Joshua Justice Raimi (along with Campbell and Tapert) produced it. Tobe Hooper was a producer of the 2003 Texas Chainsaw Massacre reboot, but I wouldn't say he remade it.

pete.vonderhaar
pete.vonderhaar

@Robin Varner There's been a remake in development hell since 2007. Michael Bay's Platinum Dunes is trying to move it forward, this time with the guy who directed the Last House on the Left remake. Try to contain your excitement.

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