The 5 Movies All Politicians Should be Forced to Watch

Hidden amid all the sex toys, video games, and Doctor Who references that make up roughly 113 percent of my output here in Art Attack, you might have noticed some recurring notes of despair. That's to be expected from a pissy little goth, of course, but lately it's less theatrical malaise and more honest depression. The reason is politics.

The political environment in America is more toxic than Lemmy's urine. Every single second of coverage feels exactly like that argument that happens right before a member of your family flips over the Monopoly board and ensures that no one will ever find the little pewter dog again, wherever it flew. Nobody can get along, everyone is convinced they're right, and our leaders resist learning from each other so hard you'd think cooperation caused cancer in lab rats.

I never complain without offering a solution, though. My initial pitch of "Top 5 Ways to Dropkick Your Representative" was rejected by the editor as being "Grounds for terrorist charges." Plan B involves a movie night. These are the five films that should be necessary viewing for anyone seeking public office.

5. The Great White Hype

Plot: A dominating black heavyweight champion has run out of opponents and public interest in boxing plummets. His unscrupulous fight promoter decides to lure a retired white boxer the champ had lost to in their amateur days back into the ring to hype up a racially-charged contest. The boxing public works itself into a frenzy over a possible upset, only for the fight to end in an embarrassingly one-sided victory for the champ. The promoter gets richer as expected.

The Message: I think our current crop of Tea Party Republicans need to see this film the most, including our own Ted Cruz. The Great White Hype is a mediocre film with a brilliant message; don't start to believe your own bullshit or you will get knocked down. Do not confuse the cheering of the mob with actual statistics and facts, especially if what they are cheering for is mostly uniformed, racist bullshit.

Bonus Lesson: Always ask why someone is giving you money.

4. The Accused

Plot: Jodie Foster plays a woman who starts dancing seductively at a bar, only to end up gang raped on a pinball machine while others look on and encourage the crime. In spite of every single person telling her and the district attorney to just let the case go as far as the spectators are concerned, the two women pursue justice until not only are the rapists behind bars, but the people that sat back and cheered on the rape are as well for criminal solicitation.

The Message: If it seems like I'm picking on Republicans too much, hold on. I'll make my way over eventually. Rape came up a lot over the course of the past election, and rarely with any kind of logic or sense. Mostly we saw a bunch of people with woefully misguided opinions try to explain away something that is very real, and very damaging. The moral of this movie, at least for those in power who are making laws that apply to rape victims, is that encouraging a culture where it's a woman's job to not get raped, rather than a man's job to not rape, is freakin' evil.

Bonus Lesson: If you have to hold her down it's either rape, or she's having a seizure. Either way, you should stop.