10 Most Ridiculous Robot Masters from Mega Man

Categories: Gaming

Mega Man was the first Nintendo game I ever bought, and the series remains one of my favorites. The premise is simple: Robots built to aid in human tasks go rogue and must be taken out by Mega Man. Unfortunately, some of those "human tasks" were just beyond contrived and ridiculous. Today we salute you, ridiculous robots conceived with vague intent in order to look cool, because that's what an American does!

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10. Gemini Man: Gemini Man has the ability to clone himself into two identical parts, and likes to admire himself in the mirror. Apparently, people working in advanced robotics thought it would be a good idea to create an artificial intelligence that can both self-replicate and be capable of egomania to boot. I know Mega Man is basically the Saturday morning cartoon version of a robot apocalypse, but man, do they go out of their way to deserve that apocalypse sometimes.

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9. Blade Man: You know how we all have that friend who thinks that the answer to every problem is more guns? Well, imagine that guy with swords and you get Blade Man. The poor guy was a tour guide in a castle where the lord had a sword obsession, and the result is both his head and hands are made of swords. It's Edward Scissorhands, but instead of his biggest threat being Anthony Michael Hall, it's an entire world armed with lasers...which beat swords in every movie besides Star Wars.

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8. Crystal Man: Crystal Man is sad...Dr. Wily created him from experiments with artificial gemstones in hopes of financing his evil schemes. Considering that things like synthetic diamonds are equal to natural ones in every way and have the bonus of not being fueled by child labor, here was Wily clearly acting from the moral high ground. Yet his plan of breaking the hold of the diamond industry on the world was thwarted by the good guy. I really don't need this sort of an ethical conflict in a damned Mega Man game.

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7. Pharaoh Man: Mega Man, along with Punch-Out, is one of the few places in video games it's perfectly okay to just throw out every single regional stereotype you have and absolutely no one will call you on it. Pharaoh Man was designed by Dr. Cossack (See?) to explore pyramids. He is heavily armored to resist traps, can see in total darkness, has been designed to resemble a pharaoh himself and has a solar-powered hand cannon as an homage to Ra. That's right, his weapon is completely useless inside the lightless tombs he is supposed to explore as his primary purpose, all because Capcom had to go just a bit too far in their Egyptmania.

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1 comments
MadMac
MadMac topcommenter

FUNNY! Never heard of the title but this story MUST top (puns) game play. 

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