So You Want to Get into Amateur Porn? (sNSFW)

Categories: Random Ephemera

Photos courtesy of Rachel Gets Ravaged
Houston Press readers may recognize the name of Zachary Byron Helm as the mind behind one of our favorite (and frustratingly unfinished) Web films, The League of Extraordinary Industrial Retards. He also made possibly the best indie comic short film adaptation of all time when he turned KC Green's Skull of Regret into live-action awesomeness. Truly, he's a talent that we thoroughly enjoy following.

He also produces and performs in his own amateur porn with his girlfriend Rachel Ravaged to supplement his income because while shorts like The Legend of Zelda: A Pain in My Ass are brilliant, they don't exactly pay the bills.

It is a recovering economy, but a slow one, and you yourself might be tempted to start a side career in paid fucking. It's not a bad idea. Despite the fact that the Internet is already 98 percent pornography, there's always room and demand for more. We reached out to Helm for his advice as both a filmmaker and a professional intercourse artist for tips on entering such a world yourself.

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Approaching your partner: It should go without saying that you should only attempt amateur pornography with someone you know and trust, which for most people means their significant other. You both have to be open, non-jealous people, otherwise it is simply not going to work. "It's not going to strengthen a weak relationship, it's going to blow Titanic-sized holes big enough to drive a Mecha-John Holmes cock through," said Helm.

Getting technical: You probably don't have professional-quality film equipment, but you shouldn't let that stop you. Lighting is a very important element, and if you're serious, you're going to want to invest in at least a few lamps that will be damn near blinding. Also, look into learning a bit about white balancing.

More important, you're going to want to consider adding different angles in order to break up the monotony of the shots. "Any editing is good," said Helm. Most people set up a tripod and just go at it. Changing angles, getting closer, further away, even the most nominal of attention to production puts you way ahead of other people in the field."

Getting down to business: You have to remember that camera sex isn't the same sex that you normally have, even if you're using the same tricks. It's work. Fun work, but still work. Be mindful of your positioning so that your arms and legs don't obscure the shot, and also of the fact that your hair gets in the way. There is a reason porn actors get into those weird positions. It's to accommodate a person with a camera.

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8 comments
YouCanRateMe
YouCanRateMe

Always good to raise the awareness of what amateurs get up to behind closed doors - we have a fun & friendly community who enjoy posting images of themselves (www.youcanrate.me), and they do so of their own choosing - no one forces them - they enjoy it. Charlotte x

Joel Andreasen
Joel Andreasen

Great now people have to sell their bodies to earn a living? Great economy...Get lost.

David McClain
David McClain

Very helpful advice. Especially emphasizing the importance of learning white balance.

Tony Gutierrez
Tony Gutierrez

terrible to whore one's self for money...degrading

Sergio Jaramillo
Sergio Jaramillo

is this being written because of the Ms. Delaware scandal?

Andrew Castillo
Andrew Castillo

Scripts for porn always make me laugh. A friend of mine sent me a shot of the actual script, where after a funny scene, the exact words for the sex to start was 'SEX HAPPENS!'.

MadMac
MadMac topcommenter

@Joel Andreasen Have to? No. Choose to? Another story.

MadMac
MadMac topcommenter

@Andrew Castillo Those writer types are so deep.

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