Goodbye PS2, A Non-Asshole Boyfriend's Remembrance

That's how we spent our nights at home. Both of us watching TV, even during that horrible period where she wanted to get all the Charmed episodes, with me sitting on the floor, head on her leg, trying to make my way through SSX3 or Kingdom Hearts. We joked, we laughed, we talked about our day, all while I enjoyed her engagement gift to me in a way that didn't isolate her.

We did occasionally play together. She got the idea for the present in group plays of SSX3 at a friend's house after all, and we both got really into Guitar Hero co-op for a while until we realized it was making us adore terrible songs. I liked her help in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (Very underrated for a licensed title) but she tired of it quickly. She's never going to be much of a console gamer, which brings us to act three.

When things were going much better my wife started going on business trips for her new job. She doesn't do well with flying. It usually takes alcohol and a session of hypnosis to keep an anxiety attack at bay. I suggested we get her a Nintendo DS to occupy her on flights. Sort of my payback for the PS2. She agreed, and became addicted to the Cake Mania series, and later to the remakes of old school Final Fantasies and the LEGO games.

That's how you'll find us these days when I don't have an assignment and she doesn't have to study. The entertainment center is long gone after we were afraid the kid would climb it. Still, she curls up in the papasan chair with her 3DS and I have whatever new PS3 game (Also a gift from her) or Wii game (A gift from my brother as apology for the N64) going on a nice low volume so we can talk. It's loud enough for her to follow along. In fact, she's requested I buy Portal 2 again because she enjoyed GLaDOS so much.

Though we game in different ways on different systems, we still manage to make it a family activity, and it reminds me of how I would spend hours watching my brother navigate Resident Evil rather than play myself. Also, it helped lead me to my current career talking about video games.

Abby, I'm really sorry something so awesome and full of couple potential was ruined by the fact you dated a human hemorrhoid that apparently had as much regard for constructive gaming as he did for whatever tender orifice you bribed him to not badly misuse. I think you made a mistake, though. You should have kept the system. A) Getting him to beg her into buying another to make her life miserable is a way better revenge. More importantly, B) Just like sex, gaming is something you can learn to enjoy properly with a partner through consideration, flexibility, and a sense of adventure.

You can get a Playstation 2 for like $50 now and the games run less than $10 most times. Think about burying the hatchet with the system. God of War, Final Fantasy XII, Ico, Red Dead Revolver, Okami, Katamari Damacy, and all the others I mentioned earlier are waiting to show you that the problem wasn't that you dated a gamer. You dated a douchebag that other gamers hate just as much.

As for me... I still have my PS2 hooked up and ready for whenever I need it. They may not be making any more, but the old girl is still alive and kicking in the House With One F. Every once and a while I'll fire it up, and remember the flushed cheeks and beautiful girl that just agreed to be my wife insisting that I was getting the system as a gift because she loved me enough to both spend the rest of my life with me and to bring little drops of happiness into my nights. I can understand how the PS2 could be the symptom of a bad relationship. For me, it's like a diamond ring, a bended knee, and a kiss that never ends.