Pop Rocks: How Do These Imaginary Friends Measure Up To Manti Te'o's Special Lady?

Categories: Pop Rocks

manti0122.jpg
Deer, meet headlights.
The problem with writing intermittently humorous pop culture blogs on a regular basis is the not infrequent occasion when real life completely obliterates anything you could come up with:

Admitting that he deceived his parents and the press about the nature of his relationship with Lennay Kekua, but denying any involvement in the hoax, Manti Te'o spoke with ESPN's Jeremy Schaap Friday night for more than two hours in an off-camera interview.
[...]
When asked if he was a part of the hoax, Te'o, who was interviewed with an attorney present at IMG Sports Academy in Bradenton, Fla., responded, "I wasn't faking it, I wasn't part of this." As for why Te'o never visited his dying girlfriend in the hospital, he told Schaap, "It never really crossed my mind."

Jeez, I get in trouble if I don't immediately surrender the remote when my wife has the sniffles.

Look, either Te'o was in on the hoax, or he wasn't. Or he wasn't then he was, whatever. The only thing more stupefying than the situation itself is the amount of bandwidth given to it online and on TV (what, none of you ever made up a girlfriend?). And besides, the more important question is how well "Lennay Kekua" stacks up against others of her [imaginary] ilk.

Captain Tuttle
Movie/Show:
M*A*S*H (1973)
Physical Description: Tall, dark, and philanthropic.
Romantic Potential: High
What a catch: a surgeon, 6'4", 195 lbs, auburn hair. studied medicine at Berlin Polytechnic, field decorated. You'd think people would remember a guy like that walking around, especially next to Radar. Unfortunately, he was fabricated as a cover in order to funnel supplies to Sister Theresa's orphanage.

The worst part? I've seen every episode of M*A*S*H so many times I wrote all of the above from memory. "He was the best damned O.D. we ever had!"


Tyler Durden
Movie/Show: Fight Club (1999)
Romantic Potential: Low to moderate

"Tyler" had no problem getting it on with Marla Singer, but we probably shouldn't use a chain-smoking depressive as our barometer on this. Objectively speaking, Brad Pitt was exceedingly hot in '99, but sharing an abandoned bachelor abode with several dozen Project Mayhem recruits doesn't lend itself to cuddle time.

Unless you're a chain-smoking depressive.



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1 comments
basshole
basshole

I think Harvey really deserves a place on the list. Others that come to mind: Tony, Danny's little mouth buddy in The Shining, and Mr. Bunbury in The Importance of Being Earnest. I'd say Mr. Hanky, but he only seemed imaginary to everyone else for a while.

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