Reality Bites: Buckwild

Categories: Reality Bites

Pay no attention to the crippling poverty behind the curtain.
Young people have been behaving like insensate hooligans since the dawn of time. In fact, I'm pretty sure one of the quests in the Epic of Gilgamesh involved breaking up a teenage Mesopotamian solstice keg party.

And so it goes. Every decade or so sees its own cautionary tale of youth gone wild, from Rebel Without A Cause to Over the Edge to, well, "Youth Gone Wild." Each generation looks at the one coming up behind them and mutters, sure this time, that these kids are the worst *ever.*

Given that, I'm not really sure what the big deal is with Buckwild, MTV's new mildly shocking look at the behavior of emotionally and intellectually stunted adolescents. They may drink and fornicate and drive all-terrain vehicles through the mud (not always simultaneously), but my overhwelming takeaway was: maybe we've finally entered the realm of diminishing returns for this kind of show.

MTV helpfully provides a Jackass style cautionary intro:


Normally I'd ask why they'd bother. I'm sure MTV has enough lawyers on staff that they could sleaze up a disclaimer stating: the viewer is free to behave as moronically as they like, but Viacom is not responsible for any severed toes.

Or maybe it's no longer amusing to point and laugh at a bunch of kids who: a) aren't behaving any worse than I did as a teenager, and b) can hardly be blamed for naively seizing a rare opportunity to make some cash and possibly escape from their surroundings.

For those that want to, of course. And after a cursory viewing, that appears to apply to only one of the cast members (more on her later).

"Previously on Buckwild," some things happened. Anna (blond, enjoys low cut shirts of the 'wife beater' variety) grew angry with Tyler (looks like a dumber Colt McCoy) and Cara ("Good nutrition has given you some length of bone") for having sex in her bed. It's difficult to tell who rooms with whom, but Anna and Ashley (Ashley) work together at a tanning salon. Hey, when your state's 93 percent white, you need to get some pigment in there somehow.

Cara tells Taylor about a "hyperglow party" at Karma, the *biggest club* in Morgantown (the girls' house is in Sissonville, because that will mean something to you). Taylor's response: "Morgantown's the shit." Boy, you can really see why Cara has the hots for him.

She then relays the invite to Shae (gritting her teeth admirably), Joey (prone to sticking his finger in bug zappers) and Shain. Shain's last name is Gandee, and he may or may not have self-nicknamed himself "Gandee Candy." Why? Because, in his words, "It's trick or treat all year 'round." I'm going to assume this mean he exposes himself to children on a constant basis.

Much is made of Shain leaving "the holler" -- where he can shoot at squirrels from his front porch -- for the "big city" of Morgantown, population 29,660 (if you were curious, that -- plus students at WVU -- makes it about the size of Victoria, TX). Finally, they all pile into a couple of cars in search for quasi-urban amusement.

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I was surprised that I watched this show at all eudemonist, lol. But watching them go muddin sure reminded me of home. The guys that work at DISH with me don’t understand, but all of my family members on twitter appreciate country fun. Normally I would have to wait to get my family’s opinion since I don’t have a computer, but my DISH Hopper fixed that. It lets me log on to my Twitter and Facebook accounts, so I can chat with them about the latest news or gossip without ever leaving the room. And with its news, sports, and various other apps, I always have stuff to talk about.


To my own great surprise, I actually watched about half the first episode of this show. Seein' what they called "mudding" made me quit out; driver looked like he'd never actually done that before, and their choice of terrain was plum silly.

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