A Geek Answers Your Children's Questions About Santa Claus Part 2

Categories: Random Ephemera
Does Santa Know God, and Do They Hang Out Together at the North Pole?

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Santa does know God. He is a saint after all. No, they do not regularly hang out because they are both very busy, but they usually make it a point to meet up once a century at the White Horse Tavern in England. These round table get togethers include Cartaphilus, Lucifer, the King of Dreams, and a man named Hob Gadling. It's supposed to be a very good party.

Is Krampus Real?

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Krampus is what happens when Bavarians drink too much during long cold winters. No, there is not a demon named Krampus who accompanies Santa and kidnaps naughty children. That's just grown people trying to take back some of the territory Christmas has annexed from Halloween.

That being said, the legend is not wholly inaccurate. Blitzen was discovered out in the wild by Professor Hojo of the Shinra Corporation, who brought him back to his lab to experiment upon. His procedures infused Blitzen with the ability to transform into a hulking, bipedal figure that was both powerful and monstrous looking. Blitzen escaped when the Shinra lab was burned to the ground by Sephiroth in the early '90s.

Since then, Blitzen has maintained control over the form, and can shift at will to counter any threats to Santa's present run. It's these appearances that have been responsible for the recent resurgence of the legend in the last couple of decades. Don't worry. Though dangerous if angered or attacked by the enemies of Christmas, Blitzen remains a good-hearted and faithful member of the team. Make sure you leave an apple for him, as the fruit helps regulate certain chemicals in his new body.


Does Santa Actually Eat the Milk and Cookies

Sometimes yes. A snack is always nice on the trip, but the primary purpose of leaving out milk and cookies is actually part of an old compromise between Santa and the elves in order to deal with rampant unemployment among the English brownie population.

Traditionally brownies would be enticed into homes to help with household chores after the family was asleep by leaving out gifts of sugar, milk, honey or porridge. As the practice fell into disuse, the brownie communities were left out of work.

Santa agreed to spread the milk and cookies idea for Christmas in order to snag overtime for the brownies, as well as ease the stress of families who tend to have a lot more housework around the holidays.



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