A Rebuttal: 10 Annoying Things About Die Hard

Categories: Film and TV

6. McClane's Wife Beater Changes Colors

The Wife: It goes from white to dark green. Nobody sweats like that.

Pete Responds: McClane bleeds a lot, and I read some fan fiction where he was actually a Vulcan. Or that might have been one of those whiskey-induced fever dreams.

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7. The Four SWAT Assholes Aren't Using "Standard 2x2 Cover Formation"

The Wife: They aren't using any kind of cover formation, they're just...running.

Pete Responds: Okay, I gave her that one.


8. The FBI Cuts the Power, But the Christmas Tree Is Still Lit

The Wife: Kind of hard to get the terrorists to "piss their pants" if the festive holiday decorations are still functioning.

Pete Responds: Now now, for all we know, Nakatomi kept the decorations on the backup generator circuit. You know, to increase morale. *cough*


9. Argyle Tells McClane to Call Him, Then Spends Most of the Ensuing Six Hours on the Phone in the Limo

The Wife: Did he have call waiting? He had no way of knowing that the circuits were cut, but didn't he feel even the slightest remorse when he saw Thornburg reporting from outside the building, knowing he might have prevented McClane's escape?

Pete Responds: Argyle knew, from previous conversations with McClane, that he was going to make up with Holly. His sticking around as long as he did was merely a formality. Besides, who else could've taken out Theo?


10. Karl Has the Drop on McClane Twice and Doesn't Finish Him Off

The Wife: Karl has a gun to McClane's head (a clever callback to McClane and Tony -- Pete), then decides he'd rather fight him hand to hand. Then he has him on the ground and is efficiently kicking the shit out of him before diving on him. Why jeopardize that by getting close? Isn't McClane a cop with street fighting experience? What did the guy think would happen?

Pete Responds: I'm pretty much in complete agreement on this one, but I would still refer you to one of the generally understood principles of '80s action movies: The good guy has to enjoy a prolonged throwdown, followed by a novelty death. Point: Die Hard.

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Now this looks familiar.



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2 comments
dustin.kalman
dustin.kalman

The reason that his wife beater changes colors isn't from his sweat. He crawls around in the air vents ("Now I know what a tv dinner feels like") that are hardly clean. That's where it gets dirty and turns green/black.

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