Thank You, Trashy Pop Culture!
4. Kristen Stewart Cheats on Robert Pattinson
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3. Snookie Has a Baby
Some of us are still reeling from the fact that Snookie is an actual person and not a robot-alien designed to water down the intelligence of the American public. But given the fact that she has reproductive organs, seemingly, there is no way she is a replicant. Or, maybe populating the world with offspring is the way she will dumb down society. Well played, Nicole, well played. 
Robot/aliens can have babies?
2. Lindsay Lohan Does It Again (it doesn't matter what "it" is) Lohan has made many a blunder over the course of her young life, so it is no shock that she should have had yet another this past year. Her latest mess (or maybe she's had another since) involved sideswiping a club owner with a borrowed Porsche. After "grazing" the knee of the gentleman, she took off, just like a celebrity who is followed by a million photographers should do when they hit a pedestrian. And for that, we thank her.
1. Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise Call It QuitsWas anyone surprised that this marriage found its way into the crapper? Surely we saw this one a mile away, but did anyone see it happening how it did? The sneaking around, the secret divorce, the running away in the middle of the night, it is as if she had another guy in her pocket. In reality, Katie was just running away from Xenu, the dictator of the "Galactic Confederacy." I wonder if the Cheaters show could have seen that with their night-vision goggles?
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