Reviews for the Lazy Gamer: Hitman: Absolution
Game: Hitman: Absolution
Platform: PS3, Xbox 360, PC
Publisher/Developer: IO Interactive/Square Enix
Genre: Stealth action-adventure
Describe This Game in Three Words: Dark as hell
Plot Synopsis: Hitman Agent 47 is sent on assignment to track down his former handler, who has gone rogue. When he catches up with her, he is suddenly charged with protecting a mysterious young girl who was being experimented on. Now he is in a race for answers against his own employers in an ever deepening plot.
Up Up: This is my first foray into the Hitman series because I am pathologically averse to being the bad guy in a video game (God of War doesn't count, as anyone who has ever read the Greek myths knows it is actually impossible to be the bad guy when Greek gods are involved). 47's quest for redemption as he tries to protect a young girl seemed like a good time to become acquainted. It has all the earmarks of a good Sin City Marv story, and that's a fine thing to be compared to.
47 is an amazing character to control, ranked second only behind Batman in the Arkham games as far as fluidity and realistic movement are concerned. You scan through areas trying your best to remain undetected while carrying out your usually lethal mission. Just blasting your way through the game won't cut it. Instead, every level is going to require an amazing amount of thought and innovation.
The best kills look like accidents, which means that you're going to have to use Portal-level thinking to find the most logical and brilliant way to take down your targets. The game is actually murderously addictive in this, as the slightest mistake makes you feel like an inept jackass, even if it doesn't actually cost you the mission. Playing as 47 makes you feel like you have to live up to a legendary reputation, while making doing so as hard as it would likely be in real life.
That's to say nothing of the incredible storytelling that is going on in the game. It's been a long time since I felt the need to, you know, actually finish the levels as fast as possible in order to see what happens next. The game has the same brutal pacing of a Sam Peckinpah film, and it makes me wonder why IO didn't just make their own CGI film adaptation instead of letting Xavier Gens completely muck it up.