Pop Rocks: What's in a Name? A Lot, If You're Talking About Hurricanes

Categories: Pop Rocks

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Image by hypnodesign
"Hurricane Al" wouldn't have been much better.
Hurricane Sandy slammed into the New Jersey coast yesterday as a Category 1 storm. The mid-Atlantic seaboard and New England will be dealing with flooding, power outages and property damage in the billions of dollars before all is said and done.

Local officials and newscasters were out in force in the days leading up to landfall, beseeching those on the Eastern Seaboard to take the situation seriously. It was a task that proved difficult, owing mostly -- according to my own research -- to the innocuousness of the hurricane's name.

This is Sandy, or this, or maybe this. Make no mistake, the Northeast is going to be feeling the effects of this storm for months, and that's terrible, but let's not lose sight of what's really important: naming these storms in accordance with the misery they inflict.

And in all seriousness, all of us on the upper Texas coast know how bad this sucks. We just ... wish your storm had a badder ass name.

Agnetha
Few things are more terrifying than the prospect of twelve hours of "Waterloo" rattling the frame of your house for 12 hours.

Bud
The former Houston Oilers owner is still one of those most hated men in town. Other areas of the South should feel free to use "Beelzebub" as they see fit.

Cockmonster
Per Vikings punter Chris Kluwe's admonishing letter on gay marriage. Another one that's probably more frightening to those in the Bible Belt than the Big Apple,

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Hurricanes: so beautiful, so deadly.
Dalton
"Pain don't hurt," but Hurricane Dalton will eagle claw your entire county in the throat.

Enya
One of the more chilling results of climate change: a hurricane that bores you to death.

Franco
Could refer to either the still-dead Spanish dictator or the Spider-Man actor. Either are equally unpleasant.


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