The League of Extraordinary Internet Trolls

Categories: The Intertubes

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Recently I became aware of a new kind of performance artist. At least a kind I had never heard of before. It was a group of dedicated Facebook pseudonyms that made it their goal to attack right-wing Facebook pages with angry, profanity ridden, and often hysterical comments specifically to be drawn into arguments. The results of this troll-fu would be screencapped and added to the troller's own Facebook pages as an example of guerilla creation. Think of it as street art painted on the underpasses of the information superhighway.

They build some pretty fair followings from this as well. Thousands of fans avidly watch their interactions and will even join in on the fun in order to wage bitter Internet war in the far right corners of Facebook. It's blossomed into a kind of community where each of these artists supports and promotes the other in order to build what I can only call the League of Extraordinary Internet Trolls. Today, I introduce you to them.

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Duke St. Rollins

The League has no leader, but if it did it would be Duke St. Rollins. He began his troll career during the 2008 elections. Originally he trolled under his own name, but soon realized that that was not the wisest course of action. Thus was born the ultra-Reaganite Duke Strollington. Strollington (Chosen because it contained the word "troll") was an undercover conservative who eventually switched sides in a betrayal that left St. Rollins with death threats and hostility. After a hiatus, the identity re-emerged as Duke St. Rollins in tribute to the famous Black Flag singer and spoken word artist Henry Rollins.

St. Rollins is the man behind the 1,000,000 Strong to Help Improve Tea Party Patriots' Spelling and Grammar group, and it was his constant attacks on pro-Tea Party pages that led to his rise in popularity. His comedic approach is known for its absolutely brutal honesty, and is beautiful in its primal viciousness. Watching St. Rollins work is like watching a nature documentary where cheetahs bring down slow prey.


Surly Thor

Though no less brutal than his compatriot St. Rollins, Surly Thor specializes in a more eloquent verbal approach more befitting of an Asgardian. A self-described comic and D&D nerd, Thor realized that Marvel's master of Mjolnir would be the perfect template for his voice.

Like the hero he emulates, Thor's drive is the lack of truth. Where legitimate, well-thought out differences of opinion are expressed he does not go, but, "It's an entirely different thing to watch someone post like Rush Limbaugh's recent claim that Obama was behind the hurricane. That shit bothers me and that's when Surly Thor flies down and drops a Mjolnir-sized serving of truth and a few insults out the door."

Obviously Thor lacks his counterpart's Godlike abilities, but is adept at using Old English to confuse and distract lesser minds so that they have a hard time rebutting what he's saying. He draws them in slowly with Shakespearean prose until he unleashes blistering insults as parting shots. It's a devilish technique that drives opponents mad.


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77 comments
unkeldook
unkeldook

Whoever wrote this is full of shit.  None of the folks mentioned have any thing to do with the League.  Period.      just some poseurs who want to claim something they don't have.  Attention.  Lying fucks.

ladysmith008
ladysmith008

He needs to branch out and give the liberals a few lessons in spelling and grammar. They're so very illiterate it's pitiful.

KnoxTheChristian
KnoxTheChristian

With the Helmet of Salvation, Breastplate of Righteousness, Belt of Truth, Gospel Shoes, and the Shield of Faith, I shall slay all liberal trolls IN JESUSES NAME!!

BrotherWallace
BrotherWallace

All of you filthy liberals who advertise your favorite troll pages disgust me! You are nothing but purveyors of filth, fornication and foul language. Hell calls for you! 

Anonymous
Anonymous

I guess Duke, the cranky butch he's with, Chest, Raoul, and Thor and a few other better read the laws of Online bulling. Chest Strongwell doesn’t even live in the USA.

Diablo
Diablo

There's Steven Kohlbert, Ahnold Schwazeneggah, Bishop Willard Romney, Ronald Reagan was a Secret Muslim, Ann Coulter's Adam's Apple, The Queen Bee, Mitt Romney: Robot or Silicon Lifeform, lots of great trolls to be brought into the league

BrotherWallace
BrotherWallace

These liberals are nothing but promoters of fornication, foul language and liberalism. They shall receive their just reward in hell when they swim in a lake of HELLFIRE! 

ptcgaz
ptcgaz

BTW I see Houston has it's fair share of retard trolls .. 

ptcgaz
ptcgaz

I have to bow down to people who can beat me but I am a troll on the local New Times blog in Phoenix AZ...

Down with all the corrupt moronic GOP teabagging "leaders" wherever they may hail from.

 

KnoxTheChristian
KnoxTheChristian

Thank GOD and JESUS CHRIST that the Christians for Michele Bachmann page does battle with this liberal FILTH and keeps Facebook safe for Christians around the WORLD. 

DaddyLove
DaddyLove

"Facebook seems to be an unlimited font of quasi-literate lunatics so detached from reality they post poorly worded hate gibberish all day about how their socialist Marxist Kenyan president wants to turn their children into gay Muslims and give away their guns to the Red Chinese or some such"

 

Yeah, that's called "the world."

ptcgaz
ptcgaz

 @Anonymous fat chance, that bullshit doesn't apply to anyone so fuck off.

Dalek5
Dalek5

 @Anonymous Anyone that  arrogant will eventually out themselves, and just did by the looks! LOL

dana1974
dana1974

 @BrotherWallace Dude, pay some mind to that old-growth forest in your eyeball before you go worrying about the pebbles in other people's.  And haven't you yo-yos figured out by now that threatening people with hellfire does nothing to change their behavior?  Why would we want to be like YOU?

ptcgaz
ptcgaz

 @BrotherWallace too bad the lake of hellfire doesn't exist, or you might have a point, however fuck off.

 

The only people I see fornicating are not liberals, they are conservative tight wads..

 

KnoxTheChristian
KnoxTheChristian

 @ptcgaz oh my, local New Times blog in Phoenix.   You should be ashamed of yourself.  Do you troll the kids at the Rainbow Preschool, too?

ptcgaz
ptcgaz

 @KnoxTheChristian really? keeps the Facebook safe for christians? what are you talking about? The internet is the least safe place of all..

 

"look up your daughters, lock up your wife" the internet is a bad place....

ptcgaz
ptcgaz

 @DaddyLove can you define socialism? Can you put it in a sentence that doesn't include anything at all about your fantasy of what Obama (I am assuming) is?

rgarc2000
rgarc2000

@DaddyLove what planet do u live on? Socialist, marksist, kenyan, gay & muslim, wow you are as bright as a clump of coal, none of those descriptons are based on any facts, just BS that's spewed by hatemongers like Rush. You probably only watch Fox news, so i'll excuse your ignorance to reality. When you have some real fact based attacks on your commander-in-chief maybe we'll take your comments seriously. Advice: try listening to multiple news sources, & check back on politifact when u hear crazy rantings... They usually rate those 'pants on fire', including all the adjectives u used in your comment, einstein.

Anonymous
Anonymous

 @Dalek5 I think Facebook should start to criminalize this type of activity.  It's a type of narcissistic personality disorder I am sure. 

ptcgaz
ptcgaz

 @molly.in.the.middle.  @BrotherWallace lol actually being totally honest, I am probably more christian as an atheist then most of the christians in America that murder, rape, commit incest, etc...

oh and they also judge.. judge not lest you be judged idiots...

ptcgaz
ptcgaz

 @KnoxTheChristian and I see that it's working. fucktard. BTW as an aside did you know that jesus is a myth?

ptcgaz
ptcgaz

 @KnoxTheChristian ? It's easy to troll idiots like you, because, well let's face it you are an idiot.

ptcgaz
ptcgaz

 @KnoxTheChristian  @DaddyLove LoL I am not from Kenya and I will tell you Mr christian holier than thou asshole, that I was born in Ohio, and therefore am a legal citizen here, and I don't take too kindly to asshats that don't know geography. 

Dalek5
Dalek5

 @Anonymous I think they should stick to writing articles, their ego's seem to be getting in the way of their anonymity. 

InkedRN
InkedRN

 @BrotherWallace  @dana1974 Brother- who the hell wants to be like you? Doesn't is say in that book that you have bought into- judge not lest ye be judged? 

ptcgaz
ptcgaz

 @BrotherWallace  @dana1974 yeah, sure. Even the pope himself has to admit that hell doesn't exist. Spirituality and religion are bullshit. Show me some proof or STFU. 

 

Dana, these are the stupidest trolls I have ever seen, I might actually be wasting my time. 

 

ptcgaz
ptcgaz

 @BrotherWallace yeah I am such a demon, that is what your wife said when I was done with her last night.

ptcgaz
ptcgaz

 @KnoxTheChristian what makes you think I am fat? Shows your ignorance. If anything I am too skinny, the heat does that this time of year. 

ptcgaz
ptcgaz

 @KnoxTheChristian good luck finding my skinny ass with that description, there aren't many liberals in Central AZ, and none are fat that I know...

KnoxTheChristian
KnoxTheChristian

 @ptcgaz  Oh, you're so fat that if I go to Central AZ I'll find you?  I'll just ask for the fat pork rind eating sissy lib. 

ptcgaz
ptcgaz

 @KnoxTheChristian too bad you live far away, or I might beat your ass dumb fuck. Internet tough guys are always pussies. 

 

ptcgaz
ptcgaz

 @KnoxTheChristian  @DaddyLove can you define socialism, oh wait you can't cause you heard this on Fox Noise?

BTW a Communist can't be a Socialist. DUH. And lastly, Obama is an America. He was born in Hawaii, not Kenya.

Do you fail at geography too?

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