The Unluckiest Characters in Movie History (In Honor of Friday the You Know)
Today is Friday the 13th -- be wary of black cats, throw salt behind your back, don't text while driving -- a date on the calendar which modern folklore has deemed as the unluckiest day of all. I don't know, but I think that April 15 (Tax Day) is the most luck-starved day of any year. Same goes for the first five or six hours of New Year's Day. Youch.
Of course there is also always the flip side of Friday the 13th. Someone has to be lucky on that day. If we all had bad luck on these special days, then we would just do away with calendars and the number 13 altogether and call it something else. Flurteen or something.
Here is an extensive look at what makes the number 13 and Friday in tandem a frightful event for some. How can Friday be bad? It's Friday! Rebecca Black even wrote a song about how awesome it is. Triskaidekaphobia my ass. You are all babies.
(Hides under blanket.)
Film history is full of unlucky characters, undone by fate. I'm talking about the people who did nothing but exist and had the world drop a deuce on their lives. Not people who did bad and got their comeuppance; as much as I love the tale of Fredo Corleone in the Godfather saga, he had it all coming to him.
Tommy Williams, Shawshank Redemption
All the young greaser crook wanted to do was help Andy Dufresne's case
Nicolas Cage, The Weather Man
His daughter has prominent genitalia, people throw apple pies and shakes at him, he forgot the family tartar sauce and his dad has lymphoma.
Lester Burnham, American Beauty
Yes, it can be said that Kevin Spacey's Burnham led a torrid last few months on Earth, but he didn't deserve to be shot in the back of the head by Chris Cooper. Everything before his murder wasn't advisable, but his behavior was understandable.
Anyone in The Human Centipede
David Mills, Seven
Good cop with the head of his beautiful wife in a box.
Sgt. Elias, Platoon
Sgt. "Red" O'Neill was a slavish tool for Sgt. Barnes who cannot even get wounded in battle. Sometimes the worst luck isn't dying, it's surviving. But poor Elias fights the good fight for the whole movie and still gets greased by vindictive Barnes.