7 Terrible (Movie) Ways To Spend Your Vacation

Categories: Film and TV

national-lampoon-vacation.jpeg
It's vacation time!
Summer time means packing up the kids, boarding the dog and heading to what should be a relaxing trip to some not too far off, but far off enough, destination. This is the theory. In reality, vacations are usually sullied by any number of ridiculous reasons: tire blowouts, dirty hotels, mosquito bites, sunburns, diarrhea, foolish one-night stands, crying babies, over-priced everything, and the most common cause for a bad vacation being that you are stuck with your family for extended periods of times.

We all have our vacation horror stories but hopefully none are quite as bad as the miserable holiday of the Griswold family from National Lampoon's Vacation, which is being screened at Market Square Park on Wednesday, July 11. Never was there a worse combination of unfortunate luck: a dead dog, a dead aunt, being stranded in the desert, missing luggage and the real kicker, when the family gets to their Walley World destination, it's closed. And then they almost get arrested!

Horrible vacations in movies are fairly common and should be watched before you take your own vacation as to make you feel better about the potential calamities that will occur on your own trip. Here are seven vacations in movies to make you feel better about your own ill-fated retreat.

7. Sex In the CityThe second SITC flick is the more obvious choice because the ladies actually pack up and go to Abu Dhabi, but it is such a terrible movie in general it is undeserving of any list, good or bad. In the first Sex In the City movie, Carrie is left at the altar, unsurprisingly, by her on-again/off-again Mr. Big. To make her feel "better" her BFFs urge her to go on her honeymoon regardless, with them in tow. What could be more depressing? Not only are you on your honeymoon without your husband, but also you have your slutty friends with you and one of them has violent runs? Stay home and drink yourself into a stupor instead.

6. Home Alone The McCallisters' family vacation to France is completely ruined by their bratty youngest son wishing they "would all just disappear." Rather than living it up on the Champs-Élysées, the clan is forced to turn around and fly all the way back to Chicago! Mom McCallister certainly gets the worst vacation of all time, selling her clothing and jewelry in an attempt to catch an early flight that only leads her to being stuck in a van with a bunch of fat polka lovers. They should have gone to Florida instead, which they do in the second movie, and it turns out pretty much exactly the same.

5. The Cabin in the WoodsLet's face it, there are very few movies about five friends going on vacation to a broken down cabin in a secluded area that end up going well, but this most recent iteration of the concept may just take the cake. This little get-away doesn't just end up with death and gore, but (SPOILER) these teens find themselves in the middle of a demonic sacrifice that may ultimately end the world. And you thought some guy in a hockey mask was as bad as it could get.

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Market Square Park

300 Travis, Houston, TX

Category: Music

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2 comments
Smedley
Smedley

How about being a camp counselor at Camp Crystal Lake?

Guest
Guest

Ahem... MIdnight Express.

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