Dallas: "He Was Dyslexic, Not Stupid."

Categories: Film and TV

"You come at the king, you best not miss."
I've said it before and I'll likely say it again, but some actors are just born to play a certain role. Patton would not have been the same without George C. Scott, no one but Humphrey Bogart could've played Rick in Casablanca and Larry Hagman inhabits J.R. Ewing in such a way that if I ever met the man in person, I might shoot him on general principles.

The exchange highlighted above, coming in a chilly conversation between J.R. and Elena (Jordana Brewster) about John Ross's childhood, reminded me of Hagman's magnificence, and why I'm loving to hate the man all over again.

J.R., scoffing at John Ross's ineffective P.I., turns up Lobell's son, who has two strikes on drug charges. He wants John Ross to use Marta to set the kid up to blackmail Lobell. The younger Ewing has his reasons for keeping distant (Marta's been uncomfortably "clingy" of late), so J.R. suggests Elena (or, as he calls her, "that Mexican girl"). John Ross (Josh Henderson) goes with his third option, the newly compromised Rebecca (Julie Gonzalo).

Bob, J.R.'s own investigator, tells him Marta's real name is "Veronica Martinez." And she's bipolar. That will probably come in handy.

Tommy (Callard Harris) sucks up to Ann (Brenda Strong), who's trying to pack up for the move to her and Bobby's new condo. For his part, Bobby (Patrick Duffy) seems a bit chippy (maybe he had a bad dream). Meanwhile, Elena comes in to give Christopher (Jesse Metcalfe) some bids for his methane...thing. Fingers brush, sparks fly and then Rebecca Buzzkill shows up, obviously not looking forward to her meeting with John Ross.

J.R. drops in on Sue Ellen (Linda Gray) and runs into none other than Cliff Barnes (Ken Kercheval), who's taking her out for lunch. J.R. seethes predictably while we try not to visualize these dessicated ghouls in a threesome.

John Ross meets with Rebecca, who denies sending the e-mail, poorly. He's unsympathetic, and assigns the task of framing Lobell's son to her, promising he'll leave her alone after that. She buys it, making her the most naive con artist to have ever walked the earth.

Elena goes to meet John Ross at his bar and asks him to talk to some Mrs. Henderson about getting drilling rights to her land (Bob is there as well). Mrs. Henderson turns out to be a pushover, leaving John Ross and Elena plenty of time for a water fight. Bob takes some pics and calls J.R. to report in. Looks like Daddy wants some leverage against his son with crazy Marta. The couple then go to get some seed money from Sue Ellen, and mother and son share a nice mother-son moment. And by "nice" I mean "uncomfortable."

Bobby tries to give advice to Christopher about his relationships, that is, until a hand drives by with news about a pregnant cow in trouble (wasn't "Pregnant Cows in Trouble" a skit from Kentucky Fried Movie?).

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