5 Reasons Goonies Is the Greatest Kids' Flick Ever
This Thursday, the Alamo Drafthouse in Mason Park is hosting another in their series of movie "quote-alongs." This is nothing new, as they do these events quite regularly. However, what is so special about this month's quote-along is that the movie being quoted along to is none other than one of the greatest movies of all time -- The Goonies! I hate to make broad generalizations about culture, but it is a challenge to find a person who grew up in the 1980s and feels anything other than glowing wonderment in regards to this film. When it comes to kids' adventure movies, The Goonies is bar none.
Down here, it's our time...
In thinking about what makes this movie so special, I've come to realize that it is because it has never really been emulated, properly anyway. Since The Goonies' release in 1985, there have been many kids' adventure films. Some have even been compared to the Richard Donner masterpiece, but they have all missed the mark in some way or another. Don't get me wrong; there are a surplus of fantastic kids' adventure movies out there, but there is something about The Goonies that sets it apart from its contemporaries. And it has nothing to do with how cute Sean Astin used to be.
After some serious thought, I've come up with five reasons as to why The Goonies is the best kids' adventure movie of all time.
5. It could totally happen, pretty much
The concept behind The Goonies is not all that far-fetched. A bunch of kids are trying to save their homes, and stumble on a treasure map in their attic. This is possible. One time I found a copy of the movie Tango and Snatch in my attic and had no idea how it could have gotten there.
The map leads them to an old restaurant that happens to be a hideout for a family of criminals. Sure, why not? Fugitives have to hide out somewhere. The kids are able to power through, making it past a series of bizarre tests and booby traps, to find their way to a pirate ship and hidden treasure. Again, while a hidden treasure is not an everyday occurrence, neither is an $85,000 phone bill and that just happened.
Point being, while some of the aspects to this film are extraordinary, they are not completely implausible like in some other children's movies. E.T. is a wonderful movie, but aliens are not showing up in your backyard and making your Huffy fly. And your parents are not secret retired spies who will be captured by a TV star in order to help him develop an army of kid-powered robots, à la Spy Kids.
4. They are regular kids
One of the beautiful things about the Goon Dock crew is that the current complication, the foreclosure of their homes, is totally relatable. They are a bunch who come from working-class families. What child wouldn't want to help out their hard-working parents from being bought out by upper-class snootiness? They are not rich nor do they live in mansions like the subject of so many '80s films. The Goonies live in regular houses that have attics filled with junk.
They are good seeds, who know two languages and use inhalers. These teens are about as normal as they come. So many children's movies create heroes with unbelievable skills. There always seems to be a super-genius in the mix to turn a dream about space travel into a working spacecraft that you all take to Mars. Did anyone ever have a friend that smart? Of course not, because smart kids hang out with other smart kids in laboratories. The Goonies only had Data, and his inventions barely worked.