Reality Bites: Doomsday Preppers

Categories: Reality Bites

The "Wagon Queen Family Truckster." Extreme version.
There are a million reality shows on the naked television. We're going watch them all, one at a time.

Confession time: Ever since Red Dawn, I've been intrigued by the idea of putting together a survivalist stockpile in the event of Commie invasion/global pandemic/"low level" nuclear conflict/"Obamacare"-related economic catastrophe. Like many people who came of age during the Cold War, I gave at least passing thought to taking to the hills and fending for myself should the proverbial shit hit the fan.

Then I remembered I live in one of the largest metropolitan areas in the world and not, in fact, on the edge of the Rocky Mountains. But just because we Houstonians are doomed to be devoured by mutant cockroaches doesn't mean everyone is, and NatGeo's Doomsday Preppers offers a sometimes fascinating (and occasionally disturbing, or maybe it's the other way around) window into the lives of those preparing for the end of days.

The episode I saw was called "It's Gonna Get Worse." Each ep showcases three preppers, followed by an assessment by a panel of experts. These experts aren't named, but I like to believe the evaluations are conducted by Snake Plissken, Max Rockatansky and Tank Girl.

First up is Bruce Beach. Bruce is old school, and has been preparing for nuclear war for the last 50 years. He built a 10,000-square-foot shelter 27 years ago out of 42 retired school buses to "save the children." Dubbed "Ark 2," its primary function is to protect roughly 500 survivors from fallout (southern Ontario not considered a primary target...sorry, Toronto), with literally tons of food and a makeshift air filtration system designed to keep the occupants from suffocating.

And the whole family pitches in, including the grandkids. They clean the shelter, learn decontamination procedures and pack "go away" radiation detector kits for those who won't be allowed inside. Oh, did I forget to mention he's mostly only taking kids and "younger people?" Yeah, chances are pretty good if you show up at Ark 2 he'll be happy to unlimber you of your children, but you'll be left to fend for yourselves against zombie caribou and the Canadian equivalent of the Lord Humungus (Lord Gretzky?). "We have room for your children, but we don't have room for you."

Trust him, he's a scientist.
Yeah, get bent, beardo. Better my kids die with me in the wasteland than end up in your Koresh compound in the Great White North. "We're not about survival, we're about reconstruction?" This is obviously survivalist-speak for "I am the natural choice to help propogate the next iteration of the human race."

Next up are Jeremy and Kelly No Last Name Given, who are prepping for life after "peak oil" with their one-year-old son. Jeremy predicts a 1970s-style oil crisis, times 1,000. He views their planning as a "precaution" against the eventual collapse of the utilities grid, part of which involves rationing water from their hot tub. Another is stockpiling pet store antibiotics (most human pharmaceuticals are produced overseas and wouldn't be available in a fuel crisis). I hate to admit it, but that's actually a pretty good idea.

Though it seems to me if you were that certain of the collapse of society, you wouldn't have kids in the first place.

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Vicki Lynn
Vicki Lynn

I am new to this stockpiling of food and other basics. Can anyone recommend any food storage's

King Neece
King Neece

Our University of Alabama patented personal solar desalination product (U.S. Made) uses no electricity, can be taken anywhere and extracts pure water from any contaminated water source. It removes radiation, fluoride, salt, pesticides, bacteria, dirt and other contaminants from any water source.



Hi All. Does anyone know where can you but medical stuff like IVs, drip bags, needles, antibiotic other than fish stuff, and gun shot kits, and so on. I have found no sites for these items.


I bought some EMP protection faraday containers on Ebay lastweek.

I feel so much better now that all of my electronics are nowprotected.



I have been watching the Sun weather reports.



Magnetic fields curling over the sun's northeastern limbrose up and erupted, producing one of the most visually-spectacular explosionsin years.  The event, which also produced an M1.7-class solar flare and acoronal mass ejection, was not Earth-directed. Nevertheless, it confirmssuspicions that a significant active region is rotating onto the Earth-sideof the sun.


This year protect your electronics!!!!!


I'm a gen x'er, and thinking about all of this.  It may not be a nuclear catastrophe, but a hurricane barreling through Houston with 150mph sustained winds with a storm surge reaching into Katy is enough to send this town into chaos. And for that, I've prepared some.

Christina Uticone
Christina Uticone

Merging the couponers with these guys could yield a pretty hilarious/disturbing reality show hybrid. Like when they used to do Law & Order/Homicide: Life on the Street crossover episodes.

Vicki Lynn
Vicki Lynn

We got a good quality stethoscope on Amazon. And try E Bay. I am on a FEEDing tube, my husband got some of my supplies there. Local medical supply companies.    I am brand new to this. Can you recommend a good food storage company? There are so many.

Pete Vonder Haar
Pete Vonder Haar

I bet Munch was a prepper. There was probably a bunker under that bar he bought.

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