It's Toy Buying Season: What to Buy your Kids This Holiday

Categories: Random Ephemera

Ho, Ho, buy me.
Is it Christmas time already? Not really, considering it just became November. Try telling that to the toy retailers who have been holding multiple pre-black Friday, cyber-Tuesday, Christmas in July sales since, well, July. Last week we received our "Hot Toy" preview email from Amazon and yesterday's snailbox produced Target's "Ultimate Toy Sale" catalog.

We will freely admit that we have been out of the toy-buying loop for some time now, but we were compelled to have a look at what's cool with the kids this year. Current toys are so dramatically different than when we were young'ins. They are flashier, more violent and completely electronic. Whatever happened to some good old GI Joes? Overall, today's toys made us feel like crotchety old people. "What's wrong with kids today," we moaned, while shaking our wrinkled finger at no one. We were very pleased, however, to see that Legos are still a hot commodity and My Little Pony now has a dream castle.

Based on our findings, there are an endless amount of toys that your child is going to want this holiday season, some of them good and more of them are crap. So, Art Attack has compiled its own list of "Nice" toys to spend your money on and "Naughty" toys to avoid.

Nice List
Password Journal

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We wish this existed when we were little girls writing away about our elementary school woes. It's got a voice-activated lock, hidden compartments and secret invisible-ink pen so your kid brother can't read about your secret crush on Billy, plus it has an MP3 plug in so you can listen Taylor Swift whilst you scribble your secrets.

Star Wars Operation

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YES! Yes! Yes!

Skylanders Spyro's Adventure Wii Portal and Software Bundle

If we are understanding this correctly, (remember that we are out of touch) the Skylanders are mythical plastic creatures that when placed on the "Portal of Power" come to life on your television screen in video game formation? According to the description, multiple players can drop in throughout game play anytime by adding another plastic figure to the "portal." Additionally, the figures remember what level they are at after the playing ends. Is this a magic toy? It's Dungeons and Dragons on your TV! We're sold.

Light Strike Rifle

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Okay, we are not condoning violence nor are we big proponents of guns; however, the Light Strike system is laser tag for your home. Light Strike's signature gun, the Assault Striker is a machine gun bipod with recoil action, a scope attachment with 100-foot range, and a grenade launcher that can shoot groups of enemies down in a single shot. Your kid will be so badass with this toy! Why would you not want that for them?

My Baby Alive
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Babies having babies

Life-like baby-dolls have been around since the dawn of the doll. When we were wee-tots, pouring water into a dolls' open mouth and having it leak out of its anatomically incorrect front part was about as lifelike as it got. This baby eats, drinks, says over 30 phrases, some really needy like "I'm tired" and "I'm hungry" and it also makes a messy diaper that your child has to then clean up. This baby doll sounds like a huge hassle to put up with, which is why it will prove a good lesson for young girls to learn about the dangers of unprotected sex.

Hot Wheels Video Racer Micro Camera Car

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This toy is brilliant. It's a Hot Wheels with a mini video camera encased in the body of the car. Place it on your Hot Wheels racetrack and you can record your car on the move. This toy also comes with editing software that lets you download the footage you just took to add music and effects to make one bitching car racing video!

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John K.
John K.

For a math lesson, I had 5th graders pretend to buy stock in the companies that made their favorite toys.  Had they actually done so, they would have earned 32% on their investment, from October to December, and become Wall St. wizards.

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