"Hortyort" Reinvigorates Epic Poetry with Marvel vs. Capcom's Mike Haggar

Categories: Gaming, Poetry

haggar mvc3.jpg
The Internet has shamefully taken the word "epic" and gang-redefined it on a pinball machine while we all look on. Just for the record, here's how Webstor put it...

Well... I'm just a third-rate He-Man villain most of you don't remember. I mean, I'm not really a linguist or anything, but I would define "epic" as related to, or having the characteristics of an epic poem. In fact, I'm pretty sure that that's the first definition in the Merriam-Webster dictionary.

Okay, so maybe we made that up. But we maintain even though landing a flip is a difficult task worthy of praise, it's not epic. Historically, epics deal with things like wars among the gods, adventures that span years and in which the protagonist encounters obstacles inhumanly difficult. The Odyssey, that's an epic. Deadpool quotes...cool, but not epic.

Which is why we were completely blown away by an anonymous YouTube subscriber calling himself Hortyort. He has managed to put together something that is, in fact, completely epic. Retro gamers will fondly remember Final Fight, the beat-em-up classic from Capcom starring pro-wrestler-turned-Metro-City-mayor Mike Haggar. Haggar recently resurfaced in Marvel Vs. Capcom 3, where he pretty much dominates.

Well, Hortyort went back to Haggar's roots and reworked about half of the game into a Homeric opus chronicling Haggar's quest to save his daughter and Metro City from the grip of the Mad Gear Gang. There is one difference, though. In Hortyort's ballad, Haggar is shot by a crooked cop, offered a place at Odin's side for the battle of Ragnarok and responds by returning to Earth by piledriving the Norse god.

Even Achilles never pulled that off, meaning that for maybe the first time the Internet has birthed something truly epic...and, of course, it's about old video games. Check it out below.

Despite wishing to remain anonymous, Hortyort agreed to a short interview. Check it out on page 2.

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