What Will Be The Worst Movies Of 2011?

Categories: Pop Rocks

Thor -- May 6

Here's an idea: let's take this character -- a venerable player in the Marvel Universe, though a decidedly second-tier one -- he's a Norse god who can go toe-to-toe with Superman, and make a movie about him that appears to focus entirely on the Asgardian's daddy issues. Truly, this is the superhero a nation of whiny malcontents such as ours deserves.

Sucker Punch -- March 25

Zack Snyder finally gives the ladies the 300 treatment. The end result will be equally as brainless, though undoubtedly spectacular to look at.

Season of the Witch/Drive Angry/Trespass

They all star Nicolas Cage. Not Raising Arizona/Leaving Las Vegas Nicolas Cage, but National Treasure/Wicker Man remake Nicolas Cage. Pick one.

The Thing -- October 14

I know what John Carpenter's 1982 horror masterpiece lacked: girls. Included solely to keep things from getting too awkward, I guess. I can't wait to see how this prequel explains the presence of a bunch of Americans on a Norwegian research base, what happens to Mary Elizabeth Winstead's character, and why we should feel even a shred of suspense when we know exactly how the whole thing ends.

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As in past history with the "teen" idols, we will be saturated with him and then it will flicker and go out...with all the technology, they can make anyone sound good, even if they are not. There will be another after him and so on and so on. The public relations firms laugh all the way to the bank.

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so does this mean you're endorsing the Green Hornet, which looks terrible?

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