What Makes Men Cry?

Let it out, Draper. Let it out.
A few weeks back we polled our male friends on Facebook and Twitter about what makes them cry. It could be anything, movies, music, life, or certain situations. Other than inducing our own crying jags, we found out that us dudes are balls of nerves, hair, and emotion who blubber more if not just the same amount as women purport to.

This was all brought about by a male-tears epidemic over the past year. Just a few weeks ago, men were admitting to crying while watching the episode of Glee where Kurt sings "I Want To Hold Your Hand" to his father. The Chilean miners being rescued and reunited with their families made a lot of men get teary earlier this month.

2008's Marley & Me became the Achilles Heel for almost every man in America with a heart and memories of a departed dog after it was released on DVD. Even Owen Wilson's annoying ass was tolerable for those two hours. It made Old Yeller look like Anchorman.

Marley held sway until last year's Up came out, and the five minutes chronicling Carl and Ellie's ... sorry, be back in a second. Sniffle.

OK, shit, that got weird. That scene in Up became the "Stairway To Heaven" of clips that made us men get teary. Even writing about it with just the music playing in the background made us lose it. They loved each other so much! Jesus Christ!

Admit it, you wanna cry right now.

What gets us personally crying the most? Well, that part in Forrest Gump when Forrest asks Jenny if his son is also "like him," Joe Strummer's version of "Redemption Song" from his last, posthumous album, and any number of George Strait songs, especially "It Ain't Cool To Be Crazy About You."

Over the course of writing this blog, doing research and asking questions, we found ourselves hunched over our desk trying to hold it together. We watched a lot of Beavis & Butthead to counteract the tears, but then somehow the idea of two friends being so close got us misted up, so we probably have a chemical imbalance now. When B&B didn't work we switched to listening to Limp Bizkit and it helped. Thanks a lot, past drug use, on both accounts.

(We'll just keep going down the list. Keep it together.)

Big Fish

Toy Story 3
This one makes you never want to ever give away or get rid of any of your toys, office supplies, tires, or jars of piss.

"Hallelujah" by Leonard Cohen or anyone else.

JFK Jr. Saluting His Father At His Funeral

Field Of Dreams

Good Will Hunting
Take your pick: Be it Danny Elfman's score, the scenes with Robin Williams, or the ending when Will goes after Skylar. Even Casey Affleck jacking off in a baseball glove makes us cry.

Bon Iver

Cat Stevens

"Cat's In The Cradle" by Harry Chapin

Golden Books

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