Christine O'Donnell Is Not a Witch. She's a Unicorn.
Thank you, Christine O'Donnell. It was a long, hot summer, lost in the midst of a political dry spell. Even the Palins felt predictable and mundane. Then you came into my life, and you showed me just how much damning video footage one young Senate-hopeful can have. It's mind-blowing, really. The best part? No one knows what Bill Maher is still sitting on!
horiwood.com Your Campaign Might Be in the Toilet If ... The first words out of your mouth in a campaign ad are to deny allegations that you're a supernatural being.
To be honest Christine, I'm not convinced you aren't a decoy put into play by the Palin 2012 campaign to distract the media (or make her look better by comparison). Yeah, it sounds paranoid. But can you blame me? I began to worry that your campaign was in trouble when Rosie O'Donnell was caught on camera saying, "Finally. When I turn on the TV and hear people talking about 'that crazy O'Donnell woman,' they're not talking about me!"
But it wasn't until I saw your latest campaign ad that I knew your days were numbered. It begins with the words "I am not a witch." Isn't that the same as leading with "I am not a vampire" or "I am not a unicorn?" When the first words out of your mouth are, "I am not a witch," aren't you sending the message that your top priority is to spread the word that you are not, in fact, a supernatural being? And to top it all off, you follow that opening bombshell with an equally weird, cryptic phrase: "I'm you."
What's that now? You're me? No. That you are not.
Oh Christine, between dates on bloody altars, dabbling in Buddhism, then Catholicism, not-masturbating, and lobbying against the evolution "myth" and those mice with the fully functioning human brains--who can blame you for being confused? However, you can't be me if you don't have any idea of who you are. You didn't have a clue what you stood for at age 16, 27 or 30, so why should now be any different?